‘When you have roommates, 45% of your communication is spent incessantly asking for money’

And now, a haiku:

Your tipster is mistaken. It was written by George M. Cohan during WWI. I gather tipster is not a James Cagney fan and hasn’t seen “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” And that’s just un-American.

No, that gives her too much credit. She’s someone who’s willing to peddle the same lies about business and economics as Republicans because, to her, they’re secondary to her faith-based horseshit about gay folk and women.

because some Republicans in Oregon were nice to her about a religious issue this one time and she also hates gay people.

Bearded Joe Allen Pirlo is my favorite Joe Allen Pirlo. YNWA. Bout time he showed up.

In 15 years, I look forward to explaining to my son why the Rams are leaving Los Angeles.

See? And you all laughed at Kirk Cameron.

“It’s All Happening!”—Kirk Cameron

With your ex, strive for civility, equanimity, and decency; with the children, practice patience, be present, and be willing to listen at any time of the day or night.

He just edged out Sam Cassell.

Blair Walsh Lived A Kicker’s Nightmare

For some reason I don’t feel like blaming the loss on the only guy who scored points for his team yesterday.

Remember when Christopher Hitchens got waterboarded to challenge his own views? Can we unleash Vontaze Burfict on this motherfucker?

The hurdles. Man, you had better clear those hurdles.

Simple solution: turn to one of your most prominent citizens for electricity.

Since this is the Browns, I half expected to hear that they hired Jonah Hill.

Uncle John’s Banned (by the SEC)

I used to skateboard as a kid, I haven’t skateboarded since 18, so for 20 years now. Does that mean I’m still a skateboarder even if I can’t ride a board without breaking both my ankles?