Stephen Miller looks like a guy who can’t cum unless he’s getting pegged by his Mexican cleaning lady.

Congrats on being both the first and last 4th division assistant youth coach to be mentioned by name on Deadspin!

At least the RFEF acknowledged that this is a purely symbolic fine.

The crazy thing to me about all of these guys (not counting the ideologues like Stephen Miller) who are humiliating themselves working for Trump is that they just don’t need this shit. They’re all some combination of wealthy and powerful on their own, so what’s the fucking point? 

I have lots of relatives who range from unintentionally racist to unapologetically racist, and there’s a conflation of two different ideas that I see over and over again when it comes to race and the legacy of slavery.

I’m 41 and can no longer run. I don’t mean a marathon - I mean I can’t run down the street without fucking up my left knee for a few days. Any and all sports that involve running around are out. Seems to be tendinitis? At any rate, I haven’t been able to run around for a few years now and it’s so sad.

But what I really want to talk about here is the scourge of New Year’s Eve weddings. I haven’t actually had to attend one yet, thank god, but increasingly hear of family and friends doing so. What the hell?

Kobe didn’t rape that girl...... Mike Tyson maybe but this slut new he was married set his reservation and room. She knowingly was involved in cheating not rape. Quit smearing the goat because you are some ugly bitch that needs to get laid. Tired of you dumb bitches like you

As a Mets fan, it is now my duty to join the NRA.

or a closeted gay man talking about his love of “boobies” a little too often

I’d like to agree with you that she got what she deserves, but she appears to have made it out of the building as a billionaire with the power to ruin a generation of schoolchildren.

Dejan Lovren was gonna get his apology one way or another.

Stick to —

I think it’s perfectly appropriate to mock people whose ground rules essentially proclaim that neither of them believe that he is to be trusted. And it’s doubly appropriate when those same people have turned their lives into a crusade to police the morality of others.

Good God, it’s worse than I thought.

To paraphrase the NRA: You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.

This is the perfect change to make if you want to win over all the people who don’t watch baseball because it takes 3-4 minutes too long to play a game and who also hate when the unexpected happens.

So a guy spends the off season learning how to hit harder so he can transition to safety and he ends up in jail? No good deed, man.

When I was 15 years old, I tried hallucinogens for the first time.

“Let’s Remember Some Guys - Financial Edition”