In 100,000 years, the takes would be clearly visible in the Andromeda Galaxy, where strange and incomprehensible alien entities would gaze up at the bright light in the sky and say, “This will probably hurt his hall of fame chances...”

Barcelona have just announced Marco Materazzi as co-manager.

If archery ends in a stalemate, is that a bow tie?

Hmmm. No James free kick from an impossible angle, no Neymar pirouhette-and-volley, no HighlySelassie free kick to the top corner in his rec league...

Jim Tomsula is a Pennsylvania guy.

It’s a trap!

Ok, that was the best example ever used for anything ever. I’m not sure it was absolutely the most illustrative or illuminating, but that does not prevent it from being the best.

There’s one example here that’s incorrect, if you accidentally receive valuable non-public information about a company you have every right to trade on and make money with it. You can only be prosecuted for insider trading if you receive that information nefariously, are legally defined as an insider or have a…

I loved this. I loved ALL of this. I know I’m going to get slammed for kissing your ass Jia, but I don’t care. This is the piece I’ve wanted to read from a Jezebel EIC for a long time. The promotion has changed you for the better.

Forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

I started voting simply to cancel my brother out.

Kristen Wiig is funny but she doesn’t get enough credit for her dramatic range.

They will sail into the West, they’re saga in this Age of the Earth having been fulfilled.

Fair enough. I appreciate your reply. Also I’ve found the Deadcast to be more listenable if I picture it being recorded by Drew in his living room while you’re in the bathroom with the door open.

Reading this felt like I’d just been handed the instruction manual to a device I’d never heard of, badly translated through six languages before landing on English.

I’d never heard of cuffing until this year. I live in a seasonally cold climate, but it still feels like someone’s trying to make fetch happen.

okay but i finally learned how to fold a fitted sheet and that was a proud moment

“Better hands than Ted Ginn Jr.”

“I wrote some innocuous thing in 1789 that was just supposed to be about militias and muskets, and now none of these other asshats in heaven will let me live it down.”

No offense, but your parents kinda seem like dicks.