It does say “was”, so there’s still hope for bacon-wrapped scallops.

Yeah, give it to the guys who paid the bribes and then got double-crossed!

“It was the first time I head Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

What in tarnation is a “curiosity vessel”

i am big fan of sports america. great game to you all and i like the styles of your athletics. fast players with big muscles different than my countries where players are tall but not muscles. i really prefer players with the muscles.

I went to a club for lessons as a kid. I was 9 or 10 and had never played golf before. They taught us proper grip and how to swing, then had us line up and hit off a tee. My first swing was a complete whiff, and the old-man instructor was visibly mad at my incompetence. Preparing for my next swing, I barely tapped the…

The Funbag is now on “Adequate Man”? Is that like having your videos being banished to VH1 back in 95?

What kind of sick fuck calls Tater Tots French Fries? You go to hell. You go to hell and you die.

My aunt Bonnie’s second wedding was a small affair in Lake Tahoe. Her cake was from a chain grocery store, which, since it was located Tahoe, did regular wedding cake business and had a pretty large bakery section. My aunt’s fiancé, Steve, picked up the cake the morning of the wedding and came back to the cabin we…

So... not a disaster, but I can’t help but share this because I loved my tiered apple pie for my wedding oh so much. It was the best.

and then falls off a pyramid onto a smaller pyramid and then is forever haunted my pyramid head from the silent hill games, which i know nothing about aside from there is a pyramid head badguy

I believe she uses lime jello to hold it in place.

FIFA has a deal.

I once masturbated 7 times in a day. Should I be proud of that or should I be ashamed?

the negroni is so good the Italians decided to stop inventing cocktails

I would argue that the Negroni isn’t meant to highlight the gin. Instead, it uses the three ingredients to create something different altogether: a harmonious concoction.

EQUAL PARTS GIN CAMPARI VERMOUTH. ON THE ROCKS. YOU HEATHEN.

So basically NO ONE READS THE BOOKS???

When I saw this, I thought I should share my story but didn’t because it’s so fucked up it’s almost unbelievable.