Do you remember when sex was hot and a handy-J cost a penny-farthing?

In my opinion, Chris Christie is the ideal candidate to be our next President of these great United States.

It's not really either/or. A person can want and appreciate better sex ed, complete with an emphasis on safe sex, consent, and the idea of sex as recreational and STILL not want their kids getting up close and personal with a dildo on a field trip.

Maybe! That’s one of the possibilities. Thanks in large part to J.R., there are many possibilities.

Female recreational cyclists do not generally need to push their limits, race against time and increase their adrenaline when riding rough downhill trails. They just want to enjoy the time spent in nature on the bike, and their expectations on the bike are completely different from the men’s professionals’. They look…

“WHO WANTS TO ENGAGE IN AT LEAST TWO ACTS OF RACKETEERING ACTIVITY WITH MUTOMBO???”

“He ain’t no real nigga. He a white boy, he preppy, he a rich boy.”

The one thing I hate most about myself is that I enjoy Entourage.

I remember driving through Willet’s Point not long after I got here in 1997. Middle of summer—crazy hot day. There were stripped car shells stacked on top of other stripped car shells, the streets ran every way and cables dangled from poles and ran across the street. Everything was painted in vivid colors, and the…

This is my dream job.

Lol what??

Okay so this is kind of the opposite...I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and was very happily moving on with my life and seeing other men. About 3 months after we had broken up, I found out he had gotten a woman pregnant and she was about 3 months or so along. I was obviously a little outraged, but I thought it…

She’d probably be safer in the restroom with that 42-year-old transwoman than she would be if she were alone with Josh Duggar.

bzzzzzz

I have mine in a comic book box of random sentimental crap. I don’t know where that box is though. I think it's in my bedroom closet.

suck it up, nerd

Handed mine to my mom right after the ceremony and haven’t seen it since.

I think mine is in a drawer upstairs. Actually, I take that back — that’s my college diploma. I have no idea where my high school diploma is. Maybe my mom knows?

I’m getting sick of the fact that “I have a boyfriend” is a more efficient deterrent than a direct “No, sorry, I’m not interested.”

I fucking love triscuits.