FIFA is ordering out for lunch today.

Holy shit, that ball is huge.

None of us are professional athletes,

I once ate an entire wedge of brie knowing damn well it was brie

I cut up some ghost peppers and then proceeded to use the restroom before I washed my hands.

My older brother (we were both teens) once reheated and ate a two-cup microwaveable container of what he thought was mashed potatoes and gravy, only to discover afterward that it was just gravy. He had diarrhea for several days and I laughed at him. It’s not as funny now that I see it written.

You absolutely need to worry about extended contact with our staph.

Remember Alf? He’s back, in pog form!

How much they love your penis and how your wisdom helps them be complete people. But definitely not Pogs.

these low-rise jeans demand confidence, strategy—and let’s be honest, some crunches

Ugh honestly this is my life right now. We drunkenly exchanged our numbers one night and it did not go well. He was not pleased because he said it made him feel inadequate. And then we ran into one of my ex-one night stands this weekend and he put two and two together and it was just awful and we’re still not really…

Truth.

How can this NOT come up at some point? Do you just pretend you didnt exist before you met one another? When you talk about things you did or didnt like in a past relationship, you don’t bring up sex?

Yeah, exactly! I’m not going to hide anything from my partner that I would talk about with my friends, and my friends and I talk about our numbers (and um, a couple of us have made lists on our iPhones annotated with various interesting statistics. . .). It’s not a big deal what the number is, but it’s an interesting…

wtf kind of crazy double standard nonsense is this.

Mercifully, this is a low percentage across the board, because holy shit: why would anyone do this after only one hang?

Stupid sexy flounders.

This is very Slate-y.

?????