To be fair, he's coming off Tommy John and is likely under a innings limit anyway. This is a convenient way to limit those innings without creating a Strassburg situation.

"Perhaps an anniversary, maybe a retirement party, maybe your goddamn mother-in-law only ever eats at five-star Michelin-rated restaurants."

What the hell is on that first pizza? Barbeque sauce and pepperoni?

What kind of people do you think read this website?

"You know, just once in this lifetime, I would like my favorite team to acquire a legendary skill position player who does NOT turn out to be a complete fucking shithead."

i'm having a hard time understanding what i'm seeing here, why aren't these policemen killing anyone?

Racist? Come on, Samer. This dog doesn't even see color.

No. 1 here is really the only important one. Twitter is customizable, so you don't have to see the bad, dumb people if you don't want to. If Twitter makes you angry, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Ah, sweet divorce.

I have to chase you to get the payout and spoke about this like 15 times already we both have BIGGER FISH TO FRY!)

Whenever I visit my relatives in America it is quite funny to watch the constant state of paranoia everyone seems to be in.

Welcome to the future 2015, where pets are treated like children and children are treated like pets.

All these years later and I'm still pissed at my AP English teacher. Her son was my best friend and she thought I was a bad influence on him so she had it out for me. First she accused me of cheating (in front of the class). I was able to prove I didn't but of course she never apologized. Then, she predicted (also in…

The answer is in the title, he's 38. NOW AP classes are required for a lot of colleges to even look at you, but 20 years ago, they weren't nearly as prevalent.

I've seen these Riis photos a hundred times, but never realized until now that he'd captured the first TruckNutz.

You know damn well she doesn't have any pubic hair.

They're still at a stage where they only consider girls who they think their friendswill deem acceptable.

"My blood pumps through my veins just like common women, one pump at a time, and certainly not through a synthesized heart facsimile given to me by our glorious hivemother—am I right ladies?"