Let’s harass these communities to foster a sense of otherness and persecution so they don’t become disillusioned radicals!

If you’re going to break into the zoo and eat one of the animals, you should probably go for one of the species that isn’t riddled with chlamydia.

The author does a fine job dispelling the myth that all Furries are in it for the sex, but now I’m convinced that the Furry community could use a good editor. Or perhaps one of those dictionary/thesaurus combos I had when I was a kid.

It was almost 20 years ago now and I still can’t believe it happened. Like, if I saw it in a screwball college movie it would strike me as too dumb to be believed. Realizing exactly how negligent I had been was incredibly humbling in the moment, but now I can look back on it and see how it’s funny.

Naw, I get it. It’s like the time I showed up for my chem lab final and it turned out that not only had I missed it, but was in fact now late for a completely different final for which I hadn’t prepared.

This is AMERICA!

Average is being really fucking generous, man. It’s like seafood as imagined by someone who’s only seen it in Red Lobster commercials.

I say it’s high time we make “Comstocking” a slang term for a sex act. Suggestions?

The secret ingredient in this shot was the Ambien the kid took 3 hours earlier.

Who’s gonna pay for - oh, right! We’ll make them pay!

When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east. When the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves.

“I have taken quite a bit of final exams and alternative medicine courses.”

Because they don’t want the people watching the news (heh) to flip away as soon as the credits roll over the fake banter between the anchors. It serves as a reminder to stick with Channel 11 until you’ve fallen asleep on the couch watching Seinfeld.

People say that shit every time. Lots of Hillary supporters were saying it around this time in 2008!

New Hampshire could lose tourism dollars if women are wandering public places with their breasts uncovered.

This is the best thing to happen to the Buffs since I was a freshman and Chauncey Billups was patiently waiting to leave for the NBA.

Ross Perot was comedy gold. And his running mate, Admiral James Stockdale, was no comedy slouch either. Dana Carvey and Phil Hartman playing those two on SNL are all-time highlight material.

A Tiger Woods proof-of-life truther!

I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble focusing on Hitler’s dick because I have a sepia-toned image of a young immigrant boy wearing shrunken wood fiber pants stuck in my head and it’s killing me.

“I’ve never been a traditional guy.”