You have to let yourself be sad, but also attend to the basic everyday shit in life. It’s amazing how much bothering to do normal things helps you just feel like yourself.

Yes, but did Africa get him a birthday cake this year?

If you’re fishing for hair complements, I’ll oblige you. It looks pretty great!

Let’s just take this a step further.

And what’s so terrible about us perverts, anyway? ;)

God, the look on Shea Given’s face after it goes in.

It’s not like their grandmother is changing any diapers, either.

I’ll be with my wife and some friends at the bar near my apartment where I’m a longtime regular and will be given many free drinks by the owner, subsidized by the many randos who’ll be there on NYE and paying for all of their drinks.

Right?

Whenever I’m talking to non-lawyer friends about stuff like this, I always just tell them that disclaimers and other things of the kind are designed to put you on notice so that somewhere down the line you can’t say you didn’t know.

This is like saying you love room-temperature water in a musty glass.

Seems like a low offer for the second most beautiful woman in the universe.

Adidas was founded by Adi Dassler, and the brand name is a combination of his first and last names.

You could buy the dude version, but could you really ever be confident that the products I use to shave my face and neck are sensitive enough for your legs? Playing with fire if you ask me.

Even assuming that most stars have planets, it doesn’t follow that most stars have habitable planets. You wouldn’t bring StarKiller Base to an inhabited system, because it would be a sitting duck while it soaked up the sun. You’d go to a system without inhabitants and refuel your weapon there.

Now watch Candace Cameron Bure (DJ) and her two TV sisters try to bust these moves.

This stuff is to pop music what the uncanny valley effect is to computer graphics.

My brother never registered to vote because my mother and sister discouraged him from doing so. Believe me, it’s for the best.

And just like your aunt who “likes” Walmart on Facebook, she gets to vote.

“How am I going to explain bikinis to my daughter?!?”, says the man whose daughter will not be allowed near a pool or beach.