L-i-v-i-n, man.

I’m always amazed that more rich dudes like this don’t check out of their careers and then just fuck off to do whatever they want. To me that’s the whole point of being rich.

I’m a man and I pooped twice this morning. Never let it be said that I don’t go all out for holidays.

You’ve gotta be a weird cat to have a kid who’s worried that someone’s not thinking of the children.

If you donated to this Kickstarter, I’ve got a bridge and maybe some pencils to sell you.

Freedom of religion is only the first right enumerated in the First Amendment to the Constitution, so it’s pretty easy to forget about.

Definitely gonna get one of these and wear it as a hairy yarmulke at Passover next year.

So, um...West Point does not charge tuition and never has.

Good.

That’s kind how we started off, though. The first few elections we had, the candidates didn’t openly campaign for office because it was bad form to declare interest in power.

the Grammys for people who hate ObamaCare, basically

+1 box of Fruity Pebbles

No, I’m just the kind of person who isn’t shocked to find out that people in the past had different attitudes/beliefs/understandings about the world around them.

Yeah, but...duh? He’s a relic from another time. This is like finding out ancient peoples believed in multiple gods.

Yeah, it’s shocking that an old guy writing over 50 years ago would not get how this stuff works. Totally weird and shocking. Why didn’t he have the enlightened attitudes of people living decades after his death? I guess it’s a mystery we’ll never solve.

As a lifelong NYC resident, I continue to be amazed at the importance suburbanites place on their fucking lawns.

I can’t speak for everyone else, but I’m into it because I produce a series of webcam videos of naked pregnant women eating various foods.

It’s a brave man with a short memory who declares Arsenal legit in November.

This is so weird. I’m working (literally working on this at my desk this minute) on a project related to NYPD harassment of minorities by using quality of life and traffic offenses as a pretext for arrest. Usually they just go with some bullshit about resisting arrest, but holy hell did they hit the jackpot with this…

I’m a massive Premier League fan who’s engaged to a massive Real Housewives fan, so...yeah, I guess this is going to be in my life now.