“You’ll get eggs in your belly, just like Easter,”

I can’t even imagine how you could whip yourself into enough of a frenzy to bother making a sign and heading to a demonstration in favor of a language.

Psst...we actually are allowed to teach our kids the wrong names of colors. It’s almost like you don’t have to outlaw everything you personally find objectionable!

Disagree. A double windsor is an enormous knot that requires a long tie and a very spread collar to pull off. Merrill Hodge rocks a double windsor, for reference.

Balding rock critics are unable to think clearly because the hair is what holds in your intelligence. I’m balding and it took me 7 tries to type this, so I should know.

“Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!” - a homophobe who identifies with racists

Most people don’t fall on their faces until they’ve at least finished a 40. Maybe even a couple of 40s.

This is the first time I've ever heard of unearned fame ending badly. Because I was born yesterday and am a baby who can read and write in English.

Hay fever makes me angry. Like there can't be justice in a world where I’m forced to deal with it even though I've done nothing to deserve it. I like to keep things in perspective.

I’m sure all these people have legitimate complaints, but I can’t relate to this kind of public crusading against a shitty sunscreen. If I bought sunscreen that didn’t work, I'd bitch about it to my girlfriend and just never buy it again.

She’s leaving Jay-Z for this guy? I dunno, man.

You'd think that Australians, of all people, would know that prison isn't always the answer.

Not to mention that even most people who had Internet access at home were still using dial up connections at that point, so pages with a lot of images on them took ages to load.

Take a wild guess what mine was!

Do space brides have to have space sex? Because I imagine it’s impossible to get decent leverage in zero-g.

Ouch.

What else do you think she might have done as a little girl? Sabotaged the RAF? Gone to Germany to work as a concentration camp guard?

If we didn’t already know that he was a Nazi sympathizer that might be something, but that fact was news when my grandmother was a little girl. Nothing new or interesting has been learned here, so not really news.

Did Bobby Jindal just start a voyeur porn sub-genre? Please let that be his legacy.