Stopped reading after the second paragraph, eh?

I’ve been trying really hard to write a comment in parody Sarah Palin voice, but I just can’t do it. It’s damn near impossible to make that little sense.

You totally made this comment just to see how many people would get the reference.

“Lumbersexuals” is code for effete straight dudes in $200 jeans who happen to be wearing plaid shirts.

And get a load of Mistress Abyss’ Twitter bio. I think she thinks it means something!

My pappy was a Papist, his pappy was a Papist, and his pappy’s pappy was a Papist. And consarnit, our people will be Papists in perpetuity.

Why does the Pope hate freedom so much?

Obviously this is vicious and deplorable, and I’m sure other commenters will delve into that. But me? I’m just wondering about that “heretic” part. Did they experience some kind of dogmatic schism that led to the end of their marriage?

It was legit filthy in 1798, tho.

Ah, yes. I remember the sight of burned out cars all over the damn place. When I was a kid I didn’t even know that was a weird thing!

I was born in Brooklyn in 1978. I never saw the desperate lows the city experienced in the 70s, but I remember much of the 80s well. It was a lot dirtier, and a lot more dangerous.

I bought a shit ton of really good sausage from a fancy butcher, brought* it to my dad’s house, and grilled it. Number 1 son over here.

Check your organic privilege.

I’d love a workout partner, but I don’t have any friends who are interested in joining me at the gym at 6AM to lift weights before work. And there’s no way I’m wading into the morass of the post-work gym scene. Just too crowded.

And when you clean your toilet, really clean it. Make sure you get all up under that rim, folks. There’s a lot of nastiness hiding in there that can cause some stank.

Nobody should condone indiscriminate hashtagging like that. Defeats the entire purpose of the hashtag, really.

America’s been showing it’s ass for years now, so this sort of thing is to be expected.

This is the weakest attempt at being offended I’ve seen in a long time.

Hey, I’ve always felt that! So am I a rich person now?