See: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

This is the embodiment of the idiot’s notion of personal privacy. They’re more concerned that someone’s going to be able to see them in their underwear than steal their identity.

There must be some racists in the atmosphere.

I guess there’s the evenly toned golden brown color of the bread, the edges of which are being gently caressed by soft fingers...the way the slices are gently parting to revea - um, I have to go now and do a thing at a place.

There is not nearly enough cheese in that stock photo sandwich, damnit. Is that some kind of janky one-slice grilled cheese?

They are exactly what I imagine the cunt punt sorority girl letter-writer looks like. Exactly.

Elton Brand’s career earnings to date? $165,338,631. Probably should have gotten that degree, though.

After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night

On the inside of the case you can see the email she’s reading. It’s a prospectus from Susan McDougal about a real estate investment opportunity.

He’s still rolling with the same hair as the high school kids on Two-A-Days, so these hats make sense.

I concede that if I lived wherever that sign(s) is, I might feel differently. However, I think the real problem is that they’ve created parking rules that are entirely too complex in the first place. Even with the new signs, they’d still need to clarify all the mumbo-jumbo about permits and school business.

I’m in favor of anything that will force the city to spend millions of dollars replacing signs I already understand perfectly well.

This is the first Regressing article that I was able to understand all the way through. It's an Opening Day miracle!

I know that 2 of our 3 big NYC airports already made the top ten, but surely JFK has to be one of the 20 worst airports in the world. For its existence at the confluence of the Belt Parkway and the Van Wyck, if nothing else.

I heard he was actually fired for suggesting that Darius Rucker was really a 20 plus handicapper who extensively employed a foot wedge.

No, I’m suggesting that they should take a parent’s word for it unless it appears something more is going on. You shouldn’t have to demonstrate you’re not a liar unless there’s evidence to suggest you are.

I’m not missing the point. My point is that there should not be a presumption that the reason a child is kept home from school is invalid. There should not be a presumption of truancy that needs to be disproven.

Which is why they should verify with the parents that the absence is legitimate. Demanding that the parents then seek another authority to justify their judgment call is absurd outside of extreme circumstances.

I’m completely baffled by the idea that you’d expect people to go to the doctor every time they’re sick. Who the hell does it benefit if I go to the doctor with a bad cold or a stomach bug? I already know what’s wrong, which is why I’ve chosen to sequester myself and let my immune system do the thing it evolved to do.

What do you mean they started demanding them? Schools can do that? I think I would impolitely tell them to fuck off.