Seems like a pretty Nice Guy to me.

So happy they had Dmitri Patterson.

Right? If I were a woman I think I'd want to get off first most of the time specifically so that I'd have a chance to get off again.

Simultaneous orgasms are cool for sure, but it only happens occasionally. It seems like making that the goal would be inviting frustration.

You're right in that I phrased it poorly. Instead of bad ass, I should have said tough guy or something else that expressed his desire to be perceived as tough in a masculine way.

Rooting for her to what? Beat the odds and record a decent song after 15 years of garbage?

I know what you mean, but I think one of the big reasons people keep at it is because Bieber himself wants so badly to be thought of as a bad ass. Which he seriously is not.

Because they're not poking fun at being violated. They're poking fun at the reputations of people who weren't violated. See how it's different?

I know Mark is working the gross out beat, but how in the hell is he the one writing this post?

The University of Michigan regrets to announce that piles of leaves will be removed from campus this fall, as preliminary data suggests they will fail to pass the fire safety test.

Stupid haters.

I will bet you all of the money that her friends have been hoping she wouldn't go through with it since the moment they found out she was engaged.

Well, I heard God is always watching what we do, so I hope he'd at least get some pleasure out of it.

Nice try, but you spelled everything correctly and there are no "1"s mixed in with your exclamation points.

To the extent that it looks a little drab, I'd say that's mostly down to the white shirt, which is the only color shirt the President of 'Murica is allowed to wear with a suit. It'd be nice if he could add a little color or even (god forbid) a pattern.

It's a summer suit! What don't people understand about that? He's not a goddamn funeral director.

Elegantly rephrased.

I was under the impression that having sex with someone who was too drunk to consent or unconscious was already against the law in most places.

I think you're mostly right. I just think that the situations where panic sets in likely already involve some amount of threat/force/coercion and are covered by the law.