It's from the time the crime occurs. One of the reasons we have them is that as time passes, recollections change and become muddled, and testimony (at least theoretically) will be less reliable.

I was making a joke about this movie. So, you know. Octopuses the size of a 747.

She's going to make me go to church and I'm not allowed to cry? This sounds like the worst relationship ever.

The worst part of that bogus doc is that it takes attention away from the real problem - Giant Octopuses.

My big takeaway is that Keyshawn Johnson is the kind of guy who'd perpetrate an easily and inevitably discoverable ruse because of course he is. Somewhere, Wayne Chrebet is snickering.

A girl (woman) could theoretically end up playing pro ball, but it would be a difficult road. Even if you removed all of the social barriers, very few women would have the combo of upper body strength and baseball skills to compete at that level. The sheer difference in size between a baseball and softball field is…

I'm not saying Chelsea won't be great this year. They probably will! But can we at least wait until they play a team that isn't hopelessly outclassed and praying for 17th place before we start with the praise?

It's almost as if children are people who can observe and adapt to their surroundings or something.

I sincerely hope that these people one day find out that all of the women in their lives have been donating to Planned Parenthood on the sly the whole time. It would blow their tiny little minds.

Um...where the hell is "Word Crimes"? If we're gonna do this, let's at least do it right.

I heard she was gonna use the money she made to buy a motorboat.

It'll change your life.

I can't recall a specific instance that stands out, but when I was a kid and I asked a science/math question my dad would always bust out the pen from his shirt pocket and get to writing on a napkin. Learned a lot on those napkins.

Right? I'm a little bit jealous of Uncle Dave right now!

I'm gonna need to know s'more before I pass judgment.

3.7 liters of water every day? That seems...high. I drink between 2 and 2.5 liters a day and I honestly can't imagine comfortably increasing my intake by that much.

I'll solemnly promise to launch your cat to the fucking moon for $50.

A couple of months ago I was with my girlfriend visiting her sister out in the wilds of New Jersey. We were out taking a walk on the road in her development when, off to the side in the woods, we spotted a deer along with a very young fawn. We paused to look, I got a shitty picture with my phone, etc.

Big deal. Bottled water companies have been running this exact scam on all of us for decades.

There is obviously a hurdle to get over, in terms of the 'yuck factor'