Found out I was going to be an uncle by email. Bro-in-law sends me an email asking what I think of such and such for names for a boy or a girl.... I printed the email, put a huge circle around both names and wrote BOTH YOU'RE HAVING TWINS on it and faxed it to his office. :p

Oh ye gods, the way he holds that binky like it is the most precious thing in the world, and the way he looks down at it and looks back up and looks down at it again and looks back up... No, I'm not crying; it's just raining — on my face.

This is so sweet. This guy looked like he needed some good news in his life.

I literally just watched this episode five minutes ago! Holy crap, so creepy.

I fucking love that woman, you may have all the froyo.

remember those creepy little incest kids that lived in the walls of the house? and ate rats? *shudder*

We need a top 10 creepiest children moments list... My three nominees: The Shining "Redrum", the kid coming back in Pet Semetary and Colton Burpo's tweets.

I'd start with the kidney area.

Hahaha I so thought of this scene!

Yes, that actually happened on Supernatural. It...made sense in context.

...women are kind of "meh" about so-called "pussy magnet" mobiles.

I named my dog Arya because she's always underfoot.

All I know is that it is going to be very difficult for these little girls to find keychains, mugs, and little license plates with their names on it when they go to amusement parks and malls.

Not little debbie. Make it like a SAW movie and make her either smoke crack or eat cheese from a tin in order to not be beheaded:

I love that all GP haters explain how it's visceral. Like, we've tried not to but it's like the reptilian part of our brain is taking over and we can't control it.

I didn't like her decades ago, either. I am the hipster of disliking GP. You're more hipster though bc you dislike that her embryo was present in a movie. That's hilarious :)

Okay, HEAR ME OUT.
Bey hates Kim
Gwyn loves Bey (and would certainly listen to her)
Gwyneth's announcement totally steals some of Kim's thunder?

It's Beyonce's world, people, we just live in it.

I'm just sad for Jay z and Beyonce. This will be very hard for them.

I like to imagine he got tired of her shit and left her. I also like to believe she was cheating on him and Martin dumped her ass b/c I am a nasty-spirited person who hates GP with every fiber of my plebeian existence.

So that's what a Pinterest divorce looks like.