Man looking at these percentages...

If the Manti Te'o story was the Hall of Fame touchdown, this tweet was the Hall of Fame extra point

YES! I mean, if the goal is to take away votes from a bitter, overly homogeneous group of mostly middle aged white men, then the obvious solution is to TAKE that vote and give it to...wait, what?

Smells like...Nnnhh, peppermint roll!

Yes.

Folks who emailed their outrage when their team was featured in "Why your team sucks"

It's been stated numerous times, but yeah, Rob Ford.

Cunt punt? Was that this year?

Schiano Man

BlessedToCommentJohn316

And to think there were some who speculated that Ford would never run again.

Wow, I wish I'd thought of that before making a joke with that exact thing as the unstated punchline.

an electorate dominated by neo-Puritan scolds, milquetoast handwringers, and straight-out dimwits

but this is Dolphins beer pong, where the loser pays the entire hotel bill, gets beaten with a sock of quarters, and is subject to racial epithets the rest of the week.

It's nice that Marshall is paying lip service to the issue, but he's blatantly ignoring the most dangerous locker room culture in the league: Tampa Bay's.

[goes blow-for-blow with mirror]

Seyah Mailliw reportedly escaped the incident with no injuries.

I really should have gone with "Actually, filming a Kennedy shooting wasn't that hard."

Oh Jesus Christ!! A Pro-Bowl all-world NFL offensive lineman wants to go out and blow off some steam and everyone starts acting like a bunch of pussies about it! Give me a fucking break!!! There was probably black music on at that bar saying Ninja this and Ninja that. Oh Paleaseeeee!! Where was Martin in that video…

*execution(s)