I liked it better when college basketballs were pig heads and college basketball players were the shiny teeth guys from the new Mad Max and the rims were disembodied mouths that could only scream CHEDDAR! and the object was for the maniacs with shiny teeth to stuff the pig heads into the disembodied mouths so they…

A PFT article is not exactly digging deep into the web.

The “take away the helmets and pads” argument makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY because it shows a fundamental ignorance of the history of the game itself. Do you know WHY they introduced helmets? Because people were DYING on the field. Literal death! Right there! This idea that taking helmets away will somehow magically make…

This was the best moment of the game, hands down. DEAD-EYED ELI STARE.

The mix was pretty terrible, you couldn’t hear Chris Martin at all and Beyonce/Bruno were too quiet. I think they were going for some kind of stadium sound rather than just giving us their vocals directly and it just sounded like garbage.

You can’t be home and awake 24/7 to guard your shit with a loaded shotgun. That’s why people buy safes - not that it does them much good by the looks of it. :P

It’s never time to post that.

And despite...well, everything, what really has me shaking my head about this is the belt.

THIS got recommended? By at least 5 people no less.

He doesn’t know how to use the 3 seashells!

I can’t even continue chewing a piece of gum if I’ve walked into a bathroom with it in my mouth. Picking something up off the floor of the stall and eating it? I just don’t have words for my revulsion.

You still wipe?

Please tell me this is in an article somewhere. I feel like Torch would geek out about this (and we would love it!)

It’s about time

“It’s like a mass of collected air coming out in one shot.”

I would buy this today if it was at my local Toyota dealer.

Sold. Where do I buy it?

It's like "Sloth" from Goonies fucked Mr. Peanut.

15 Minutes Will Save You Millions In Cost Of Living Expenses, Because You Are Definitely, Definitely Going To Kill Yourself Rather Than Live A Waking Nightmare™