This was the best moment of the game, hands down. DEAD-EYED ELI STARE.

The mix was pretty terrible, you couldn’t hear Chris Martin at all and Beyonce/Bruno were too quiet. I think they were going for some kind of stadium sound rather than just giving us their vocals directly and it just sounded like garbage.

It’s never time to post that.

And despite...well, everything, what really has me shaking my head about this is the belt.

THIS got recommended? By at least 5 people no less.

He doesn’t know how to use the 3 seashells!

I can’t even continue chewing a piece of gum if I’ve walked into a bathroom with it in my mouth. Picking something up off the floor of the stall and eating it? I just don’t have words for my revulsion.

You still wipe?

Please tell me this is in an article somewhere. I feel like Torch would geek out about this (and we would love it!)

It’s about time

Best Monopoly piece is the gun, taken from your game of Clue.

“Tonight. You.”

“It’s like a mass of collected air coming out in one shot.”

Exactly! (hint 2: stop putting money in the middle of the board so it can be won by landing on Free Parking. The original idea of the game was to bankrupt your opponents, and cycling money through bastardizing the rules only keeps money in circulation.)

Boot got fucking hosed on this list. I love kicking the shit out of every token I pass with the boot. It’s also funny that most people don’t play Monopoly correctly then complain about how long it takes *because* they’re not playing correctly (hint: If you don’t buy a property you land on, it goes up for auction so…

I would buy this today if it was at my local Toyota dealer.

Sold. Where do I buy it?

It's like "Sloth" from Goonies fucked Mr. Peanut.

15 Minutes Will Save You Millions In Cost Of Living Expenses, Because You Are Definitely, Definitely Going To Kill Yourself Rather Than Live A Waking Nightmare™