Great post.

I am 60 years old. In case it helps, I’m going to tell you what I know.

Their base is so good, but I wish they had some simpler flavors. My grocery store only carries the flavors that have ten pounds of chips/chunks/clusters/WTF in them. I just want ice cream, not ice cream holding together piles of sugary detritus.

Ice cream commercials should be like this ^...........not creepy.

Ben and jerry’s for life.

This is a good commercial.

I think in the case of The Mooch his absence is probably preferable

Jesus Christ. My ex missed the birth of our daughter because he was stuck in an airport in Ireland, en route from Afghanistan. That is a perfectly honorable and respectful reason to miss the birth of your child. Being absent due to service to the objectively worse US president, in terms of competency and pretty much…

I am picturing attempting this with my cat. Bystanders in this Starbucks are looking at me like I’m a Batman villain cackling to himself.

Best conspiracy theory I’ve heard all week!

Hush, you. He’s a brilliant lyricist, magnetic frontman, and endearingly obnoxious media personality who happens to have cultivated some appalling political views over the past 30 years.

I’d buy that for a dollar!

That’s odd. I heard Daniel Day Lewis got offered the lead in Dirty Grandpa 2 and turned it down. Can’t imagine why he’d quit acting with opportunities like that rolling in...

I should add that for the role, Day-Lewis is going to have to gain 40 pounds, to which I’m sure he looks forward with great pleasure.

I suspect he’s going into deep cover to distract us from his real next role: portraying Morrissey in a Smiths reunion tour (for which the band surely would receive well over $100 million), so that Morrissey doesn’t actually have to go on tour and Johnny Marr and Andy Rourke don’t have to be in the same room as…

This makes me nervous? I hope he isn’t sick. Sounds so finite to be anything not serious, especially the fact that he won’t be commenting again. :(

Well at least, we can celebrate a woman finally becoming the leader of the free world.