Oh HELLS NO. Obviously I don't know all the facts, but if this article is true and I were Dodai, I would sure as fuck leave.

Oh heaves, I live far (I think?) from the Brown Line. I will, however, ride it for the champagne.

Thank you! But I have to say that my attempt didn't get very far, unfortunately. Lack of interest on the public's part, lack of time/energy on mine. I was thinking of renewing the idea though, for my classmates at grad school.

Is CTA trustworthy? Actually asking, because the transit authority in my previous city was a joke. Also:

Dear Amateur Videographer/Entomologist;

What the fuck is wrong with you? Note the train car number, FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

(Come to think of it, the lack of info coming from Amateur's side may be a sign that they're…

NO NO NO. I've been in Chicago two weeks and Murphy's law has been in full force in my life lately. This just confirms my intention to stay inside the rest of the day.

I also happen to know that the Miss Representation people are all about public screenings. I tried to organize one at my local library once and they were super helpful.

I stayed in this hotel recently that had a flat sheet on top of a duvet, which was directly on the bed. Gross, right? So boyfriend and I tried to move it all around, just to discover that the bed was a duvet sandwich. Flat sheet, duvet, flat sheet. And there was a table runner along the bottom. Not blankets folded…

Couldn't find Calculon, so this will have to do:

Oooh, thanks for this. It's from Whites, right? Now I know what I'm doing with my weekend...

"The commentary behind this show is a reflection of who we are today," said Allen. "We all become 'users' and in the end, we become 'used'."

I am also dumb because I typed "an dumb name." C'est la vie, but at least I'm not a fratbrah.

That's how most of us deal with it. Or he could make the best fucking ketchup in the world and wow us all and make a billion dollars. Instead, he's opening a bistro with an dumb name and dumb rules.

[And I totally get the 'doused in extraneous sauces' thing, because at this same restaurant we made our own tofu ranch…

BOTH BOTH BOTH BOTH

Salsa, and the real hip places are all about the tomato jam or chutney. Both of which, by the way, are stellar.

I once was told this amazing story by a gentleman who had worked in the industry in New York in decades past. At one particular establishment, he served a lady an omelette. The customer in question requested ketchup, but the restaurant was a fancy shmancy French joint and didn't allow the stuff anywhere near the…

Maybe the creepiest gif ever.

Aioli is just fucking mayonnaise with garlic. So mayo is okay if he spiffs it up with garlic and tarragon and probably a little lemon juice, but ketchup is verboten?

[House-made ketchup is super delicious and REALLY EASY FOR (MOST) RESTAURANTS (and less hands-on than aioli) because you probably have all the…

I bet he's got an artist statement on his menus.

UGH, CHICAGO. I just moved here and am trying SO HARD TO LIKE YOU but you are SO FUCKING DYSFUNCTIONAL in every way.

[Of course, the city is roughly equivalent, population-wise, to the entire state I just moved from. So I'm cutting you some slack, Chicago, for the time being. (Obviously the opinions of late-twenties…

If I were Serena Van Der Humphrey, I would be. Like, CONSTANTLY.