He can't act. He's not that hot.

Poor Ryan Gosling. His throne has been well and truly usurped.

Or maybe different writers are allowed to have different opinions. I don't mean to sound shitty, but if Jezebel's staff room really was a hivemind, this site would never have become what it is.

I was thinking that, too. I mean, there's always the irony that the things we do to ourselves to "beautify" wind up ruining the natural skin/hair underneath.

I hate those ones — you can always see a bit of the white no matter how hard you try to cover it.

Usually the big tell with fake eyelashes is if they really fan out at the sides. These look real to me, but then again, I'm the worst at spotting this stuff.

Let me live this fantasy.

Irony aside, this is actually a good idea.

Are those fake? I'm terrible at spotting both fake lashes and wigs.

The best eyelashes I've ever seen have come attached to men. I'ts just not fair.

Japanese mascaras, you guys. Japaneses mascaras.

There are plenty of men with daughters who are still sexists.

I'm really trying not to straw man your argument here, but how does donating to an animal shelter make him a feminist?

Sorry, who are you and why have you taken up residence in my ass?

Howard Stern fans are the weirdest breed of human.

Yeah, he's had her on before, though, so I suspect he got the sex shit out of the way the first time.

Yeah, his nose was rebuilt out of goretex and they had to fly in a specialist to do it because he destroyed all the bone and cartilage in his nose. So kids — hands at the ready!

My dad once had his hands in his jacket pockets, tripped on some bleacher stairs and smashed his nose in because he couldn't get his hands out of his pockets fast enough.