Parisian gyro stands, when giving you a gyro to go, put the french fries on top of the (triangular-looking) gyro. They are arguably better than gyros with the fries on the side. But maybe I just think that because Paris.

The California burrito has been showing up in places in Los Angeles too (Super Mex to be specific) and I love it.

CHOLULA. Always, and forever.

Ahem.. (and I can not believe I get to use this gif in the proper context)

Some women don't like to give a beej but want to do stuff for their man when they're having their monthly. Sometimes women get really in to it and you see them looking at you while they stroke it and it's awesome. As a guy, you see that look in her eye and think "she totally wants me to pop" and that can, uh, help…

That seems like a whole lot of words to just throw some side-eye at a sex thing some people do.

I'm not even going to read the article, I'm just going to say that the header GIF for this is God's gift to mankind.

We must inform Garfunkel and Oates.

Hello darkness, my old friend....

"That's not pine tar, it's...[voice deepens]

Umpire: Oh, what's this on your neck?

I've made a huge mistake

This woman makes really impressive cakes.

"I must not Fox News. Fox News is the mind killer.

I just can't understand why the bitches aren't interested in them. It is one of life's greatest mysteries.

My favorite are the customers who are under the impression that repeating a question with greater detail or volume will somehow change the answer. At least once a day working at Apple, I had this conversation:

These stories pretty much reinforce everything I remember about serving: older women are the worst fucking customers on the planet.

Just speaking for the Hungarian version in this particular instance, the lyrics are not a direct translation at all. "The cold never bothered me anyway" becomes "And meanwhile, the ice sits on my heart". So I guess that's one way to make things fit.

Is it okay to be turned on by the idea of The Rock saying "Hey dollface"? Asking for a friend.

I rode in an elevator with Dwayne Johnson when I was in high school and he was still "The Rock". He said "Hey dollface" and gave me a megawatt smile. And that was that.