"That wouldn't stop me."

"I don't get it."

Instead of being one of its analysts, Shannon Sharpe will now be the glue that holds the show together.

And this is how Dan Marino, one of the greatest talking heads ever to grace the studio finds out about his career ending? A press release?

Get well soon, Jared.

Big whoop. My wife's been carrying my balls for years.

"I WILL OUT-HUMBLE YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!"

It's already bad enough that he's getting jobbed out of $10,000 for a degree at "West Chester University."

Okay, so here's my take on this, having watched the competition with my wife yesterday, not only once in the morning, but again in the evening.

That's $5,042 per hour. That means he could buy 3 used Ford Escorts every hour that Craigslist is open...wait, there aren't enough used Ford Escorts to buy! Roger Goodell is going to force Ford to restart production of the Escort, most likely bankrupting the company, costing the NFL hundreds of millions of dollars in…

"he ranked pool number what??"

Look, if they only paid $41 million they'd never be able to attract top-tier executives.

fortunately for him, most angry ex-players won't remember this come tomorrow.

Yes, more than any NFL player in history, but Goodell really should be compared to his peers like Stalin, Mao, and Kim Jong-Il.

Email chain?!?! What a pussy.

At least he's not gay. I don't think his team could deal with that distraction.

-I am the left tackle for the Miami dolphins

Speaking as someone who's had major depression for years, who's experienced the lack of motivation, eroded sense of self, and feelings of constant persecution, I empathize with Martin—truly, there's nothing worse than rooting for the Dolphins.

Today being today, can’t we appreciate how far Incognito went to make sure Martin’s sister felt special?

I'm banging Ashley Wagner. Just FYI.