Email chain?!?! What a pussy.

Gatti's is the best of those three. I assume you live in Central Texas, since you're including it on your list. If you live in Austin, you should checkout Jets Pizza—it's a Detroit chain that just expanded to down here. It's fucking incredible. Get the square, deep dish. Also, Marcos Pizza is quality, delicious chain…

Do you vacation with ARod on dickbag island?

HAMILTON NOLAN IS THE KID WHO POOPED ON THE POOP DECK.

It's a well known fact that Flair lost his Panthers season tickets to ex-wife #2.

Where's the story about the guys who stole the kicker's jersey off his restaurant wall?

After the popularity of the hardcore era in the WWF, the state of Florida decided all athletic events should have folding chairs on the sidelines. Tables and razor wire too.

Coach is more interesting than team.

He's not that racist.

So even six-year old 49ers fans are dicks? It starts so young—-

So you hate Nelson Mandela in addition to mentally handicap students?!?!?

The Houston Texans' win against the Lions should come with a * on account of the BULLSHIT call leading to a touchdown that could not be overturned due to tight pants Jim Schwartz.

To the guy who is scared to commit to a relationship: I'm 30, I just went through a terrible divorce following five years of marriage after my ex-wife cheated on me with a co-worker. The thing is, I wouldn't change anything—I found out so much more about myself and the things that make me happy by being in a poor…

I have a feeling that at some point during his illustrious career, he would have been.

At least his campaign into the Deadspin Hall of Fame has been a success.

It worked out well for Johnnie Morton, so anything's possible.

There's no better feeling in the world than the first 2-3 hours after a professional massage on your back and shoulders. It's euphoria.

That's strange, because I think the name "Codie" is the mark of the beast.

This is a great piece. As an active cyclist in a major city, one thing I have experienced is that if you shout "on your left", a lot of pedestrians will misinterpret what you're saying and turn or look to their left.

How will this impact Arian Foster's fantasy numbers?