it’s so good that it’s Seymour Butts.

I’m reading this as I scarf down jalapeño-flavored potato chips. I'm wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and socks that used to be white four years ago. I'm not living romantically, am I?

“If you want to create a mid price point jewelry collection in which the pieces look like butts, do it. Butts are timeless.”

Will this never cease to be the truth??

I’m sure this woman’s response would be that you have to soak them for 17 hours in reverse-osmosis, de-ionized Himalayan glacial melt-off to really get the ultimate hormone boost, though.

i googled “copper cup why” and all i found was recipes for moscow mules in copper cups. now i want a moscow mule.

Have you tried just turning your cashews off and then on again?

i think most of the healthy lifestyle internet people have major disorder eating habits that are most likely full blown eating disorders.

How do you activate cashews anyway? Do you have to call Microsoft and give them your key code?

“I usually wake up at 6:30am . . . I start with some Kundalini meditation and a 23-minute breath set—along with a copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea—before my son Rohan wakes.”

I mean, I think it’s great that a woman with such small avocados still feels free to share them with the world this way. #avocadopositivity

Bah-cone.

I’ve been breathing all freaking day where is my Elle piece?

“[I] start with some Kundalini meditation and a 23-minute breath set—along with a copper cup of silver needle and calendula tea—before my son Rohan wakes.”

They already have and Emma Stone is first in line to play Rukundo. If she’s not available though, I think Rooney Mara is down.

Only supermodels have to work when they have a cold?! I’m a SUPERMODEL!

Conservative men view women as private property while liberal men view women as public property. I forget who said that.