“I hope my son sees early on that not everyone gets a trophy,” said Bristol Palin, a person who is famous because of her talent, hard work, and thoughtful insights.

That statement just confirms that she is as shallow as I’ve always thought her to be.

Eh. To the extent I have sympathy for these guys, it’s because they were lied to a little bit. Just because you can have kids forever doesn’t mean you’ll be able to find a woman who’s young enough to be able to do the couple years of dating/year of engagement/year or two of childless marriage and still have biological…

Saw her at Tekserve getting her Macbook repaired. Love that she chose that shop over the Apple Store, loved her flatulent bulldog. She’s super tiny in person, and very friendly.

Now that’s just disappointing. All the terrifying and awful things written about this man and in the end, he’s mostly worried about his cock, just like the rest of them.

Who has the time to be married AND fuck 20 people on the side? Seriously, I need to ask them some time management questions.

Somebody told me: “Sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean when the baby cleans.”

There isn't enough computing power in the world.

If this is all I knew about her, my question would be, “hmmmm, would I vote for my mom?” This is the mom-est thing that ever happened.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

Anyone who interrupts his own train of thought with “...and this is true...” has been lying all along and intends to continue.

He has to differentiate himself from Ben Carson, the pro-brain candidate. Trump is on the record as anti-brain.

“If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the most brain damaged individual ever elected to the presidency.”

He's got a point. If America weren't so soft someone would've shot this shit talking moron by now.

To be fair, brain damage likely accounts for over 50% of his support.

Hahaha, as if most of us have jobs we can do online. Sure, Kasich can bullshit about maternity leave without leaving the house, but my pregnant coworker can’t wipe any virtual asses.

Yup- I’m fairly certain companies aren’t cool with people telecommuting while also taking care of kids.

The only people who suggest this are people who've never taken care of an infant 24/7. Having taken care of 3 of them it just makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Not to mention that chefs - in a restaurant or a family kitchen - would experience a serious reduction in farm-fresh produce!