Honestly, with the exception of a very small number of mods, the game is far less violent than what he probably sees in kid's cartoons.

It's cute that these columns are progressing as Drew's kids get older. I am looking forward to "Why Your Children's AP Calculus Class Sucks," and "Why Your Kid's First Job Sucks," and, ultimately, "Why Your Grandkid's Favorite Television Show Sucks." Ha ha you are old and so am I .

Minecraft will also teach them to expect money for nothing and chicks for free.

-Remember that time I wrote a poorly-worded and confusing email to you that was just a hair under the length of the Infinite Jest?

-I do, ole chap! I had such a silly haircut back then. Welp, let's bury the hatchet and get back to completely ruining the entire fucking world.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

My brief story was an elderly woman came in to our store and ordered a burger.

Probably. We would have gotten that one right if you came into my Taco Bell.

Come on now. Everyone knows that cut toast releases powerful and potentially deadly gluten fumes.

hypotenuse allergy

In his case, he looks at all the gluten as he's eating it.

I don't see what's dumb about customer No. 3. If you're watching your gluten, surely the safest thing is to store it in your stomach so it doesn't get lost?

The only difference between a Taco Bell taco and the taco supreme is tomatoes and sour cream. Every single day I worked there, someone would come in and order the taco supreme without tomatoes and sour cream.

I am a working cook, as well as an instructor at a culinary school in Canada. I regularly reference BCO in class, trying to prepare my students for the unbelievable fuck-wittery waiting for them out in the 'real' world. These poor kids have no idea what awaits them...

Fart party.

I never got the "barefoot and pregnant" thing. Like, ok, pregnant I get but shouldn't pregnant ladies still wear shoes?

State senators are a whole other level of wackjobs. I bet attending a state senate meeting is a lot like reading the comments under a Youtube video, but in real life.

My response to the "God created man first" BS is "Men: the beta version."

And, if we're going biblical here... Men are made of dirt.

As a man I can happily attest that both ribs and women are wonderful.