Less than 2 ct?! Pffffff

Even for the panhandle, that’s intense.

Definitely done to shame the daughter. If the daughter had wanted to keep the kid, the bitch would have shamed her for that too.

My family originates from Irish peasant stock, which contributes to a somewhat no-nonsense attitude to death. When I was about six, my grandfather died in Ireland. Far-flung sons, daughters and their families gathered for the funeral.

My aunt died in Pennsylvania and was to be buried in Ohio. Her daughter (my cousin) was married to a guy whose family owned a funeral home. It was decided that my cousin’s husband would drive my aunt’s body to Ohio in a family hearse. Unfortunately, he and my cousin were not getting along at all and got into a huge…

There were two lamps at either end of my grandmother’s coffin. During the visitation, one of the creepy (red) light bulbs burst, showering her body with shards of red glass. The entire family gathered around and spent the next half hour picking tiny pieces of glass off her body, out of her hair, out of the folds of…

The fact that your parents stored schnapps in their bedroom is the biggest red flag. Also I’m so sorry.

Woah, that is the most Florida thing to ever Florida.

I was at a wedding once and the father of the groom, whom I had never met, and I got talking at one of the liquor stations. He had had prostate surgery the year before and woefully told me all the tricks and things he and his wife had to do so that they’d both be satisfied sexually.

I so feel you on this. It used to happen on the reg to me, too. One day I woke up at 4am to my SO having a goddamn after party in my living room knowing full well I had to go to work in 4 hours.

An ex invited me to a show she was DJing that began at 1 in the morning. As in, I would leave my house at 12am, and one hour after midnight IT WOULD START. Girl no, I am waaaaaaay to 30 for that shit.

The dreaded birthday dinner. I’m done with showing up at a fancy-ish place during their busiest shift of the week and waiting for a table for 12 (Or is it 14? Did Beth say she was coming or not? And I’m not sure when Brendan’s flight gets in, I think his phone is off???) only to get split into two tables for 5 and 7…

Giving a shit about my physical appearance.

It’s Hot or Not with a texting option. If they are changing the world, it’s not something they should be proud of.

But Outback Steakhouses are still a thing though right?

Fosters is not a thing here. Nobody drinks it. Stop perpetuating this myth. The rest is true though.

Didn’t go to camp until I was 16 because I was a scaredy homebody. Finally went to church camp, spent the week pining for the hot preacher’s kid in the kangol hat (it was the 90s), but wound up making out with the 4’11 doofus because I was easy and slightly desperate.

Thanks, but the way I handled it afterwards was less BA and more E-for-embarrassing. Basically they went through my suitcase, found my weed, and I vehemently insisted that I had no idea how it got there and I had never seen it before in my life. I continued to insist this again and again, even though absolutely no one…

Toothpaste in her EYES? That’s some sadistic shit.

She clearly has an odd relationship with negative space.