I enjoy the synergy between your username and this comment.

So this more or less confirms that he's in a committed monogamous relationship with a Japanese body pillow named Kimiko, right?

The last yoga instructor I went on a date with was the most aggressive, yelling, opinionated blowhard I think I have encountered in the past year. She was very lacking in chill for someone so spiritual. If only we could have scored that THC vape from her son before we went on that hike.

How did he pronounce it? *is worried she mispronounces it now*

I broke up with someone because when they’d scoop butter from the tray, they wouldn’t do it smoothly. They’d leave a smashed looking mess and then spread the butter unevenly on their toast. I was looking to break up with them, and lumpy uneven butter in my tray was the magnificently petty reason that forced my hand. 

Bucky deserves better.

Picky eaters.  If a guy won’t even taste something because he doesn’t “like how it looks,” I suspect that he’ll have severe sexual hang-ups.  I also can’t think of a man who won’t eat spicy food as a real man.

This is interesting. A few trends I’ve noticed:

This isn’t the “tell us about what a good person you are” deal breakers thread this is the “petty” deal breakers thread. Gird your loins - this is not the space for people to show their best selves!

A couple of years ago I ran through a string (3) of men that were unable to drive front facing into a parking slot. They backed into every slot. I questioned them and they said the same thing, “Makes for a quick get away.” All three turned out to be obsessive control freaks. Now if a man backs in, even one time, he’s…

You’re a finger jockey? A different breed.

I’m feminist as fuck and am an amazing cook and have a plethora of aprons. I also scrub a mean toilet. That doesn’t make me a sad little regressive wifey, it makes grownup who knows how to do basic tasks required for human survival. I also can do basic plumbing, I took my oven clear apart the fix the damn thing, and I…

Exactly. It’s easy to stay together when things are going well and you’re happy. It’s what you do the other 75% of the time, when life threatens to get in the way, that determines if you make it as a couple. Some partnerships are worth fighting for, and some should wither on the vine and die. It seems like Miley and…

I can’t wait for her to announce shes pregnant and that they are going to co-parent on different planets but like we wouldn’t get it because they have a very cOmPLeX aDuLT relationship. Also wtf about her previous comments about not being wifely because she doesn’t cook dinner wearing an apron? I’ve been married 5ish…

I decided to try my hand at houseplants having never had much of a green thumb in the past. I got three. A spider plant, because they’re supposed to be damn near impossible to kill so I figured that’d be my safe plant. I also got a Boston fern, which are supposed to be a little fussy but still on the easy side. Then I…

I went into work and was filling out the vehicle inspection thing we do every morning that shows we checked our truck.  I noticed someone had used it the day before and I was really confused why someone would come in on Sunday.  I thought on this for at least 10 minutes until I realized it was Tuesday, I had Monday…

It’s hard to tell if she’s saying it as a value on her life, or acknowledging that she now has additional responsibilities to consider outside of the herself. There’s plenty of shit I would have done before kids that I wouldn’t do now, not because I value my own life more, but because I think about my MIL getting…

No idea, just googled some phrases like “dark kitchen” and “green kitchen.” I really wish I could drop my Instagram handle here because I run an account with beautiful mid century and modern homes, but there’s so many trolls here and I get too personal in my stories to feel comfortable. But yeah just Google some keywor…

This is kind of touching imagining your mom seeing her first rainbow!!

I kind of wish I felt that way. Instead, I was resentful as hell that I had to leave my baby and go back to the 40 hour a week time suck that is work and a year and a half in I still feel that way. So many of the tasks talked about in the article are things I don’t mind doing, even if it means my marriage isn’t…