NO KIDDING. Everyone in the upper midwest would be the skinniest in the country, and bless our hearts, we are not.

Oh my god! Look at me! I’m So skinny, but I’m also So rich, so I’m going to throw money away doing this and take pictures of it! Hahaha. Look at me laughing! Out loud! OMG. I’m lol’ing!

Ah yes, these two plump hens need to drop 20-30 lbs post haste.

Maybe this is all the proof we need that Nicki Minaj isn’t our queen and best friend separated by circumstance: She has shit taste in dick.

“encouraged shoppers to use fitting rooms for their god-given purposes”.

She married/divorced a Count...I guess she gets to keep her “title.”

:(

Just flip the playpen over on that bish.

They’re not divorced yet, so, maybe out of respect for that? I dunno. The bigger question is, why does my married husband NOT wear his wedding ring?

Station’ry.

Who the fuck gets hung up about a hostess gift? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten one, and I’ve hosted any number of gatherings and get-togethers.

Seriously, who makes personal calls when they’re not in the car these days? I have an hour-long commute in each direction, and as soon as I arrive at home or at work, I need to be present and paying attention to the people who depend on me there (co-workers/clients/boss or kids/husband/pets). If I’m calling you at…

IT. HAS. EVERYTHING.

And I think we can all agree that pics of leaking dicks are worst of all.

Simon Cowell smiled and waved at me once, can relate.

Me too. Unless someone was like, “I worked for Trump. He was a kind, generous, intelligent, and restrained man.”

I am an idiot. I just stumbled through the entire spanish portion thinking it was a story of an illegal immigrant only to realize halfway through that it was a translation of what has already been written. God Damn vocabulary.

Yes, it’s a total rags to riches story. (ETA: this actually gives me hope that she’ll fade into irrelevance someday)

Honestly, Kim is not the person who comes out looking bad in this quote...

From personal experience and personal experience only, I think that men and woman hold their cigarettes differently. And Caitlyn’s manner seems like a stylistic “tell”.