Those strapless suits look like you pretty much cannot raise your arms above your head.

Right before you toppled out of the Bronco.

Even if that is the case, that happens all the time with regularly conceived babies too. Once you commit to having a baby- even once you get pregnant or get someone pregnant- you create a new human and therefore create a new relationship that is separate from the one with the person with whom you created the child.…

.56%, is that 3/5 of 1 percent?

I think in the US ‘cunt’ is something you save for a big fucking rageplosion. My every other spoken word is “fuck”, but I’ve only called someone a cunt once.

last week i was sitting next to a woman and when she got up to leave discovered she had peed on the seat

Sometimes I long for the good old days when airing your grievances with your dad was reserved for when you downed one too many drinks at Christmas. Having to do it in person really made the moment special.

I have a dear friend who was ghosted. It was one of the cruelest things I’ve ever seen and it took so much longer to recover that I think it would have from a “regular” breakup.

Saberi says she was first diagnosed with end-stage renal failure in 2013

I worked in a Starbucks inside a Borders, and Borders was mandated by its head office to play the number one charting album of the week all week, which was annoying but I could deal until the summer of 2010(?) when James Blunt’s ‘Back to Bedlam’ was number 1 for about eight years. I started plotting elaborate plans to…

They were playing Céline Dion on a loop?!

I worked at an educational supply store for a few months once. Nonstop Raffi and other asinine children’s music. I quit before I put a gun in my mouth.

Yeah. Warning to college students, avoid all 40 year olds who want to hang.

If you’re 39 years old and deciding to crash a college party, life ain’t working out the way you planned it, even before the guns get brought up.

Bill Murray splashes booze around everywhere.

I went to see a screening of the second Boondock Saints film (for all its deep and obvious flaws, I have an abiding fondness for the original, entirely because of the gorgeous men and all the homoeroticism) that included a panel discussion with Troy Duffy and a few of the actors afterward. The move was so awful I…

AHH I love it when all the celebs come for the Dunhill, mainly due to the yearly letter we get about how Hugh Grant is banned from all university builings and residences.

I went to St. Andrews for university, so we had quite a few golf-loving celebs come through, especially during the Dunhill Cup. At one point I went out with a couple of my friends from hall to go watch some of it, and it was just as boring as you’d expect from, y’know, golf. So we’re talking about how boring it is and…

Mind. Blown. If I didn’t drink while watching Mad Men, it’s possible I would have picked up on this more.

I think it’s mostly men that are tired of disappointing only one woman.