i like beyonce (have forever, saw destiny’s child in concert three times as a kid) but is anyone else totally exhausted by stan culture? the internet acting like she is the greatest thing in the history of the world and completely above reproach tires me out(the amount of ‘woke’ people i saw defending her for that…

But- salad.

For the love of god don’t take the bait and bring out your dumbass wienergater troll.

I’ll stick to good old cheap Lip Smackers. Been using it since childhood. No problems, comes in a trillion flavors, doesn’t look like a testicle in your pocket.

Jellybeans, too. One Easter, my then toddler kept bringing me white jellybeans, demanding I open my mouth, then popping them in. At first I thought she just didn’t like the white beans, but after about the 20th, I discovered she was sucking the colored sugar coatings off the beans, then feeding me their naked corpses.

It’s funny that of the probably thousands of things I have read on Jezebel, this is what I create an account for, haha, BUT- I, who am allergic to nothing and can subject my skin to all kinds of terrible treatment and be unphased, had a minor reaction to Eos lip balm. I used that stuff religiously. My lips were always…

If Gigi is fat then I am a killer whale.

After reading through all this I’m suspecting wienergater is actually a very subtle troll. This shit is hilarious.

I need this to continue. “Guys, it’s just a tube-meat sandwich. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

$7 a serving is completely ridiculous for collard greens. My first search result for “bulk catered collard greens” is a barbecue joint that sells them for $11.95/qt; a quart is 2x plus the size of a 12-oz tray. So right off, you could pay $24 for the SAME PORTION of greens if you got them from not-Neiman-Marcus.

After listening to that interview, I’m convinced that her new way of speaking is a little more intonation than accent. Someone said it last night that it sounds like English is her second-language. American intonation is a thing!

Lohan sounds like someone struggling to find the English words for what she wants to say. Which I, for one, find completely plausible.

That cup reminds me of something out of Dante’s Inferno. I don’t like it.

#andNOthispostisNOT’shading’anyonebecauseimnotelevemyearsoldimeanseriously

I was making a little meta joke. I’ve been posting Jack Chick tracts constantly (usually out of order, because it’s funnier that way) for a few days now.

Poisoned candy/tylenol kills innocent people = a permanently changed nation

I bought $30 dollars worth of candy from costco this weekend (the good stuff, none of this jolly rancher and blow pop bull shit), so I’ll be home hoping no kids come by and that I get to eat it all.

I just don’t get why she needed that ridiculous prop of a guitar 

I noticed that! So many boring shots of the lobby, of the living rooms, of the patio. What about the dorm rooms? Bathrooms? Laundry? What’s the kitchen like? Are there kitchenettes? I couldn’t care less about the stupid baby grand!

There are like 6 pics of that piano and 3 pictures of a roomful of white chairs in a conference room. I wanted to at least see the bedrooms. I thought for sure with 80 pics there’d be someone bed/bath pics!