I was made to put a sweater on for wearing a long-sleeved shirt with shoulder cutouts. Shoulder cutouts. I was distracting others with shoulder cutouts.

I know a "Sir President..."

I was once on a houseboat where we had to call the water ambulance because someone couldn't handle how high they were and thought they were dying. They were fine. Just very high.

OK FINE here are some recent incidents:

Sometimes when I smoke weed, I hallucinate that I go into hell and meet the actual devil and he threatens to keep my soul for all of eternity. It is very un-chill. The last time I attempted to get high, in my sophomore year of college, I was passed the eff out and my friend was trying to help me, and she later told me…

Thanks for sharing your measurements! They are relevant!

I know I'm going to want to leave this as a comment on every single one of these posts, sooo...

Sitting in a tub full of white frosting is at least a B, borderline A. As long as it's not whipped frosting.

I can't zoom in, but is this Andre Leon Talley dressed as Satan, behind Jaden Smith dressed as Virgin Batman?

To be fair Dodai, I would rate sitting in a bathtub of white cake frosting as minimally a solid B, unless of course it was fucking cream cheese frosting (which is an abomination of cupcakery) in which case it would be the lowest fucking F you could give.

Any excuse to post this:

usually eating meals consisting of a huge amount of a single fruit, such as two entire pinapples, five mangoes, two litres of orange juice, 1.4kg of apricots, or 20 bananas.

Are Jason Segel and Katie Holmes actually dating or is that just something Ok!* made up? 'Cause I don't know how I feel about Nick Andopolis dating both Jen Lindley and Joey Potter...

When I found out my staunch vegan boyfriend was cheating on me I put a slice of extra cheese pizza in his laptop and closed it.

" Fortunately I have enough common sense"

This just in: people surprised that shit show has shit ending!

"Mumford & Sons did not break up."

It doesn't matter if she has/had brain cancer, it's just a dick thing to write anyway. We have to be fucking runway ready and uptight sophisticates when we're pounding the damn pavement for 26.2 miles in varying weather now? You'd like us to focus on what other people think of us when our bodies and minds are being…

I love this comment more than I could ever say.

I'm glad the editor is "personally mortified" but whether the runner had cancer or not, don't be a snarky asshole about what people chose to wear while doing things. I've seen marathon runners in crazier getups. THEY ARE RUNNING MORE THAN 26 FUCKING MILES, THEY ARE BADASSES NO MATTER WHAT THEY WEAR.