I WASN’T GONNA SAY but uh

“ I wanna touch that sweet, sweet, can”

did someone say venus de milo?

This is like the Sophie’s Choice of ‘Who Wore It Worst?’

Callie 4eva, but this was a damn good Dirtbag, Madeleine. I was laughing out loud at your dinner joke in the TSwift item, followed by more loud laughter at the genius Adam Lavigne gif...I actually scrolled up to see who wrote it! Well done. Let's go eat ice cream and cry about Callie while simultaneously laughing at…

I visited an assisted living and had lunch there. Everyone - virtually all the residents - put ranch dressing on their red jell-o. I asked a worker about it, and she said one person started it and it just spread, and now the people all wanted it that way.

No it's also a political statement about the instability of the dollar

I just imagine she's thinking, "Hey, Y'all"! over and over and over...

Wash it! Wash it when you first buy it (in a tub with baking soda). Then wash it regularly thereafter. Odor no longer a problem.

That is EXACTLY how they smell at first - could never put my finger on it 'til now!

but he's the perfect Larry because Larry sucks

I'm kinda glad he's a piece of shit human, because he has one of those faces I just want to punch and punch until I can't punch anymore. I was going to feel that way anyway, so it's kind of nice to know it's justified.

I didn't even previously know that the Biebs had a tattoo of an angry turnip, but this sentence delighted me to no end

"Human equivalent of getting very competitive during a casual game of pool volleyball"

Human equivalent of getting very competitive during a casual game of pool volleyball Adam Levine has...

"wow, you better not wear that around me again"

it's so much worse now that i can see it!

In one shocking coffee break some of the guys I worked with all were in agreement that any time a woman wears boots it's "risque". Any boots- Uggs, snow boots, etc. They love 'em all. Being thrown in the office with people you wouldn't normally get to know can be eye opening...

Your coworker: