Yes, the underage boy can drink to excess and force his penis into a young girl's vagina against her will, even though he was told it's illegal to do that by the older, wiser laws in his life but the girl? She ought to lock herself in her room and become a nun, stat. It's obviously the only way to be safe.

I'll take the cork board. But only if you fill it with pictures of rotund buns.

Martha Stewart, I just can't quit you. I love your magazine so, so much and the lifestyle it sells is just bananas.

Please understand I am saying this without a shred of sarcasm: It gives me such joy to start a Wednesday morning with news of my evil overlord Martha throwing shade at GOOP. Never change, Martha!

I'm gonna post a picture of me surrounded by my two cats eating a muthafuckin big mac with the same words. I will look glorious and fur covered

The walls are covered in stencils of slightly misquoted Margaret Mead and Eleanor Roosevelt and Marilyn Monroe.

Pain chain pain chain pain chain painchain painchain painchain painchainpainchainpainchainpainchainpainchainpainchainpainchain PAIN CHAIN

Grab some blue shampoo, it might help take the buttery edge off.

Death Angel has been around in the Bay Area for a long time. Great band.

I saw that tour as well at Slims. Death Angel is coming out with a new album, going to see them in a week. Thanks for the Doomriders info, I'll keep an eye out for them. I'm flying to LA in November so I don't miss NIN and Murder City Devils, sucks they are both skipping San Francisco.

Kvelertak and High on Fire are touring together as well. Some great shows coming up.

My experience has shown that the key for any cheap-wig situation is to buy two, and wear both or glue the weave from one into the other. Definitely helps. Part of me would LOVE to have Yo-Landi hair for real, but I have butt-length almost-black hair, and at the ripe old age of 26 I've never, ever bleached it, and…

You seriously need an all-out naked-aggression playlist:

I've met a lot of otherwise awesome people who get really idiotic about trans issues, particularly surrounding kids. Evidently if you treat trans kids with dignity you can confuse other kids into thinking it's cool to be trans and then they'll all get gender-reassignment surgeries and then have to get re-reassigned…

Is it just me or is anyone else seeing David Grohl wearing candy teeth?

those crazy-big veneers always seem to result in atrocious breath. it's like the dentist left a food-moldering gap in there somewhere.

"I'm not a pirate, but [talks about timber shivering and booty plundering]."

re: Vanessa Hudgens & grandmothers. I once asked my grandma what a steer was. She told me, 'it's a gentleman cow that something's been done to.'

I think this is about all I got for this one

"Both women also know how to rock the sexy librarian glasses!"