WORD. I remember her from "Singled Out" and that was literally one million years ago.

Well, Iowa State University invented the computer, which you used to add that useful bit of dialogue to the conversation, so I give a big "Meh," to your pronouncement on my state. We have delicious sweet corn, I got to meet Barack Obama on caucus night, and can watch my friends get legally married, gay or otherwise. …

But but but...we're not all bad. We.... *sigh* nevermind.

My super cool mom brought me to Calgary Take Back The Night in the mid nineties. This photo from that night is probably the best photo of me of all time.

Gotta watch out for those vaginal sparks. They're the 3rd leading cause of bush fires. Just behind pocket rockets and pube friction.

Vagina sparks, sounds awesome.

It's like drunk découpage.

I HATE LONGBUTTS!!! Ugh what a gross trend. Every girl who has any semblance of a cute butt ruins it with longbutt mom shorts. And showing underbutt does not make longbutt sexy. I think that may be their reasoning, but their reasoning is so, so flawed.

I just had a baby and after going through pregnancy dealing with my supposedly "good" insurance company (seriously that's like saying a "good heart attack" isn't it?) I am more socialist than fucking ever. Fuck Obama, fuck big business, fuck big banks, fuck health insurance companies, also FUCK HOSPITALS. While…

It really speaks to the growing class divide in this country that so many of us (me included!) can't even imagine how people can afford to have children. And I'm not talking children + expensive summer camps + 5+ bedroom mansion + designer diaper bags. I am a really minimalist, low-maintenance person. Like, I'm an old…

If you substitute "is a human being" for every time she says "is ugly", it's much less depressing and is actually kind of life-affirming in a Yoko Onoish way.

Ugh Miley. So hot, yet I cringe every time I see you because you are such a poser.

I swear to Allah I wish somebody would punch her in the genitals every time she makes this fucking stupid face.

This neo-homestead Dust Bowl daydream has got to stop. Depression-era folks didn’t just stand around and look lovingly at mason jars full of dried beans; they cut the heads off of useless chickens whenever they were lucky enough to have the chance. Buck the fuck up you simpering little Simbas and embrace the circle of…

I'm not a fan of Pat Robertson, and I AM a fan of gay hugs, but I would definitely use a vomit button.

We should have a "Pat Robertson" button to hide any hateful shit our relatives post.

"So it turns out the next 4 Harry Potter books in the series are about this big, which is a challenge."

One guy, he named his pomeranian after a French city and then wouldn't shut up about how he had just ordered two Dickens novels and he was just so excited and he couldn't decide which one he was going to read first. He also liked to sigh and dreamily say things like, "Feminism is so sexy." I never knew if I should…

Guys who don't grasp the concept of 'Leg day'. I saw Glen Danzig (fuck I'm old) in concert, I was right up front... I was close enought to clearly see that his thigh was smaller than his forearm. It almost broke me, I had nursed that crush for way to fucking long for it to die like that.

Back in high school and college when I was...ahem..."Straight Edge," there was DEFINITELY a website called HowsYourEdge.com that listed sXe sellouts in almost exactly the same fashion. This sort of sellout shaming has been around for a while. It is very silly.