Dental Plan?

He should totally start marketing a line of "Breath Strong" oxygen tank pillows.

Better than the pron sandwiches they serve up at Barstool.

What they don't ever tell you about cockbrisket, is that if you cut it against the grain you will surely end up with a mouth full of scrotatiousness, dare I say a whuffle of a woopsie.

Still sad. Fuck.

At last, our long national nightmare is over.

Wow, the Bill Simmons Mustache Smile is already catching on!

You know what Shaq says, he only likes a chick with D cups because hey, more than a handful is wasteful.

/sheds one, 99% testosterone tear.

I'm not sure how that isn't a balk, I don't exactly understand the rule, but in a just world that would be given an honorary balk. Just a stupid statistical side-note, like the the four strikeout inning.

His confession would have been much more believable but for his guinea charm and olive oil voice.

I sincerely regret my decision to wear my @geniusatwork t-shirt to comic con.

Has anyone ever straight up asked their wife/lady friend for a sexual favor while asleep? It goes over...poorly. "But I was unconscious!" means very, very little to a woman asked for a beej, in those words, point blank.

CRIPPLE FIGHT!

When ask for comment his brother JD paused for a moment, took a deep, contemplative breath, and said "Yup."

Yeah, he can still kinda dunk.

Emma was simply saying that MJ, these days, dunks more like a delicious maple bacon cruller into a coffee coolata, than say, an athletic genius from the free throw line.

I cannot upload an image to save my life.

Son of a...!

That was pretty much my joke!