Oompa Loompa is exactly how I was feeling, lol. Thankfully I tried it out yesterday and not this morning before work. I’m tempted to mix the PF with one of my other powders that’s basically straight up white, and see if I can use it that way. The PF powder does have a nice feel on the skin, I’ll give it that.

Oh, haha. I just got the Suave kind, it’s all my grocery store had. People in my area are not big dry shampooers, I guess? It’s okay. The smell was very strong for like the first hour, I felt like a walking fruit salad :) but it did the job and added a lot of nice texture to my hair. And it was super cheap so I won’t…

My view changed when I got to med school and learned what an amazing adaptation menstruation really is and one that is specifically to a woman’s benefit. Could you try talking about its purpose? Learning *why* our bodies do things I think puts a positive spin on them. Here is a cool, popular science article on the…

I recommend calling in dead on Good Friday. It makes showing back up to work three days later far more gratifying to explain.

My parents have a tabby-and-white who loves to roll in the dirt. His very favorite thing to do is to roll in the ashes of an old fire and come out absolutely gray. Then, of course, he wants to loll on your feet and shins and get pets.

What I have to offer is, uh, similar, but the opposite...? It was the second-to-last day of school and I was so relieved because that assholes Jordan had made my sixth grade awful. First he had made fun of me for being flat-chested, and when I very rapidly went from zero to C cup (adult bra department KILLED ME from…

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

You have my deepest sympathy. My mom sat me down every few months and accused me of having sex and threatened to take me to a doctor to check. She frequently told me she knew me and my boyfriend were doing it (we weren’t), especially in front of other people. When I did start having sex, some time after losing it to a…

On Mother’s Day all of us with tox-moms hung out here. And Moriarty offered us a Bloody Mary brunch if we could get to her. I’ll save you a seat for next year? And give you a hug for now.

My dad wasn’t in the middle of the room, but he was always at events like that too, as a chaperone. It touches me so much more now as an adult, bc it was his effort to be in my life as much as possible after my parents’ divorce. He only saw us every other weekend and it killed him inside, according to my stepmom.

Honestly, I’m used to him never being there. He’s 11 years older than me, although we’re both from the same marriage and we were both planned. Once he was old enough to go to college, he pretty much abandoned the family and only came back when he wanted something out of us, so I didn’t really expect him to help out…

I dearly loved my father. Anyone who follows my posts KNOWS this. He was a very smart, very kind, very GOOD man.

Good lord. Mine would do the same thing. She told the entire extended family plus her friends and acquaintances when my sister got HPV. She’s Borderline, though, so it’s par for the course. Sorry yours is that way too.

What the hell is it with moms announcing a daughter’s virginity? Who does that???

My parents were both alcoholics. There are countless awful embarrassing stories but none of them strike me funny, even now.

When I was in high school my mother picked up from school for an appointment wearing a sundress and no bra, her droopy tits on display to everyone. Cue the cutest boy in the grade ahead of me walking into the office for some reason. Shortly after, I cut up the sundress to make a table cloth.

Because I hate to shop for clothes, and always have, whenever my family went to the mall, I would spend about an hour with my mom buying school clothes and then she would meet up with my dad and pass me off so she could shop for herself in peace. I was always SUPER excited about this, because it meant about 2 hours of…

Burt Bees Wipes

“I fart in your general direction!”

“I am terrified of death. If there is a hell that’s where I am convinced I am going. If there is just nothing, like I never existed, that is just as horrifying.”