True story. I once attempted to read Shape when 'trying something new' Lifestyle, healthy eating, blah blah. The whole magazine seemed to be about how all food was bad for me and I should eat the low-fat, no-calorie cardboard-flavored version of it instead. Silly me, I was just looking for some perspective and…

Yes. I had a very anal retentive mother. The kind who would criticize if you did something around the house, because you didn´t do it like she would do it.

Here in Iceland, we don´t have any McDonald´s. They have a franchisee agreement that all the ingredients must be shipped from their factories and their suppliers, the closest of which is in Denmark. It was way too expensive, so McDonald´s went away.

True that. I had one 'friend' who did several small things, like buying hamsters and putting them in the vending machines at school where they would run around and scare people who stuck their hands in to get their bag of Funyuns. Not too terrible, and quickly remedied by the janitorial staff.

I have never seen those Butter Bell crocks. Now I want one. ::shakes fist at you::

Try to keep your head up. I know a lot of people reading are thinking, 'This guy sounds like an ass. Why would you put up with that?' but I know it´s not always so easy. Often this stuff starts so gradually that you don´t notice how little your guy (or lady) is doing.

I´m so glad! LOL I was just checking!

LOL Ok. Whew! Glad he´s ok. I did think it was sort of weird. Like 'My husband has cancer, and so does my cat, but let me tell you all about the cat!' ... And then I thought maybe you were having a hard time coping and focusing on your fuzzy buddy instead of your husband. Glad to know he´s all good. :)

So what happened? Did he come back and did you guys talk? Or was it all bad?

...Is your husband doing all right? Maybe you don´t want to talk about it, or maybe Madison is easier to talk about because she´s an adorable furball, but I found myself worried about him, too, after your opening sentence.

Please don´t mind me if I´m intruding.

I think this version, by Thomas F. Wilson (comic, actor, cool guy) gets the point across in a much more clever and fun way. Bonus points for not using the word 'spunk.'

Yeah, that was definitely unexpected. Would not want my dad to talk about that moment. In fact, I prefer to believe my parents never actually doinked. Good for them, happy they once loved each other enough to get naked butLALALALALALALAAAAAAAA I CAN´T HEAR YOUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Apistolic Pentacostal women are also required to conform to gender standards as laid out in the Bible (sigh) and so typically have long hair they do not cut.

You can´t be that much of a heel. You were nice enough to apologize when I said I was upset, even when I assumed you were a jerk for what you said. This is literally the only time someone has said something to me on the internet and then said, 'I´m sorry.'

Wow. I didn´t expect an apology. Thank you. Really. That is so nice of you. I apologize for my strong language.

Wow. Now I feel bad both physically for being a white woman and mentally for actually applauding this bastard until I got bitch slapped in the end. Well done. Smarter than the average Internet Dick.

Yes! Once, long ago, I majored in journalism and was going to win a Pulitzer. This was back when I had the same attitude as Rachel M´s character in the movie. I admire her character´s drive rather than being turned off by her desperately sunny personality. I thought that movie was a delight. Bonus points for being the…

I have to second what other posters have said.

1. You probably would have had them complaining to your face if you´d had a traditional, stressful wedding. I still remember my uncle getting married, the youngest in a large Catholic family. The bride and groom paid for the wedding themselves, with the groom replacing…

I´ve heard everything from, 'You eat like shit, and that´s why you have bad skin,' to 'You´re not washing your face enough,' to 'You wear makeup too often,' all from fantastically clear-skinned Nords (Bastards, the lot of them). I just have a predisposition to reddish skin, periodic breakouts and dry, dry, dryness all…

I had a friend do this once when I ate out with him and a group of friends in high school. As I was standing in line to pay for my meal, he slipped out the door. And you´re right. He could afford it. I was mortified. I still feel bad to this day for the poor waitress who probably had to cover the loss.