So if I buy some of those shoes at prices higher than my rent, my dream of actually becoming Old Mother Hubbard can come true. Terrif.

Khrist on a kracker. Now I have to change all the embroidery on my baby gifts!

http://www.ustream.tv/animalleague

This was terrible and his poor son (and rest of his family) who had to call for help. So I'm going to watch the NSAL puppy cam video feed. Screw you death.

My daughter ate crayons, paste, dirt and grass when she was a toddler. Never dog poop that I'm aware of, but I was always on the watch for those needles in dog food at parks that my friends were constantly scaring me with and never noticed any poop. Because, yes, she also ate dog food. My daughter was Bear Grylls…

It's like being pregnant again waiting on these rulings. I'm very excited and extremely nauseous and worried at the same time. Please don't eff this up SCOTUS.

Weddings, like alcohol, always seem to bring out the true horrible nature of some people.

"People who are very isolated tend to converse with Siri."

I thought he was supposed to be in jail?

Oh Stephen. Once again you show how amazing you are. Your mother would be proud.

The real crime in that Matt Lauer story (besides the word vomit coming out of his mouth) is it looks like that's Brian Williams cut out of the picture. More Brian, less dbag please.

Okay, I snorted at this sentence and think we can rest assured this is the source for ALL these "according to a friend" tidbits:

Woah. That's pretty cold to be fired from the company you founded. I know it happens every so often, but still. And now how will I know if my man likes the way he looks?

I thought the atheists can get into heaven thing was a head scratcher (if they recant, of course), but damn if the church isn't always trying to one-up themselves.

It's all that sacremental wine.

Yep I remember fen-phen. A lady I used to work with who took that shit did lose a lot of weight, but has been on disability with heart issues since the 90s because of it.

Only if you're not fond of your teeth.

I thought they just had little claws for feet. Ugh. I'm thinking too much about gopher feet now.

Yeah, I read that, I just wonder why they have to chop off the feet. Are they eating the bodies?

So rodent population control, okay I guess. But WTH with keeping the feet?