I don't particularly care for the dress, but girlfriend looks great for month 8 or 9. I could barely get up to use the bathroom 30 times a day at that point in my pregnancy, much less rock high heels and christen ships for Mother England.

Dog (and his butthole) is my co-pilot.

When the first words I ever heard him speak were, "I can't believe it's not butter!", the illusion was shattered for me.

It's like a bizarre new form of Tourette's with these guys.

Oh Louis Bullock. If I still had ovaries, they would have exploded. In puppies and rainbows. Adorable.

Dear Lindy:
Half my age and twice my eloquence. Bravo young woman. I needed a cigarette after reading this. You are brilliant.

He's Boris and I'm Natasha. I don't know why, neither one of us is from Russia. The kids are called Rocky and Bullwinkle, even though they're both girls.

Is this because Bruce doesn't let any of these idiots play "Born in the USA" at their teabag rallies?

So he's dressed like that, is squiring around a Kardashian and apparently has a "mask adjuster".

Amelia has been a heroine of mine since childhood, so I hope they do find the plane wreckage in the ocean. That one story from a couple of years ago about how they found her shoe on an island, therefore she must have been a castaway and starved to death was awful.

I have been told my entire life to "SMILE!!", even when I'm sitting quietly, staring into space and thinking about puppies and rainbows. So I definitely agree with this:

I'll believe him when he presents at my local Renaissance Fair.

True, especially for those who purge a lot, no?

Sarcasm. I likes.

April 2014. Gent on far left. You're welcome.

Anything that can be used to clean your toilet in those DIY helpful hints you see every so often does not surprise me that it can have this effect on your teeth. Also this:

I would never pay $40 for a donut, croissant or any combination thereof.

Don't let the door hit you, etc.

If Amanda's parents do get conservatorship over her, does this just mean she won't have access to her money or will they be able to force her to get medical care as well?

I don't know if I was directly responsible for the company getting rid of him, but my boss is GREAT when it comes on getting everyone's input whenever these internships end and it's time to decide whether or not to hire them. I just shared this story (and others) and he didn't come back in the fall. Thank god.