I always figured it was the kind of cosmetic bleach people use for their hair (not a cotton ball dipped in Clorox or something), and then I watched the video and yeah, it was lemon juice, so I guess that's better. I mean, it's still awful because you're sitting with a cotton ball soaked in lemon juice clenched in your…

Maybe it's darker because of shadowing? Like from your buttcheeks?

Nooo! I love my tinted anus! Looks like the dreams I never had of porn stardom are dead :(

Everybody can see your face! Anyone that close to my asshole is in no position to judge the aesthetics of it.

I would rather someone walk in on me waxing my bikini zone a thousand times rather than get caught bleaching my own anus just once. That can't look dignified.

What is with all the mesh mullet dresses I keep seeing this summer?

Because she is a deeply stupid person who just forgot?

Okay so what is the benefit of a bleached anus? I don't understand that particular beauty trend, and I definitely don't understand why someone would attempt to do it themselves. If I wanted that particular...look? Is it a look? or hygienic or...? Anyway, there is no way I would bend over and apply bleach to my own…

Stay classy Montana. But yeah, somebody is going to fuck that mattress.

Do not leave baby unattended in mattress! Babies may wiggle their way deeper into the slots and suffocate.

And when you're not making use of the mattresses handy arm slots for gettin' freaky, you can wedge your kid in there so it won't escape while you are busy folding socks in your fanciest pajamas.

There was even a sly Fugitive reference in there! This article has everything!

Your hands would slip into the cracks, and you'd touch something weird down there or something sharp, and you would freak out for a second until you realized it was just crumbs, some pennies, and maybe an earring, but the mood would be gone. The creases in the back of the sofa are one of the least sexy places on…

Muahahahahahahahahaha!

If I known that getting a degree in the Mad Sciences was actually possible, my post-secondary path would have been way different.

That elevator prank is hilarious! I mean, I would be a mess if it happened to me, but watching it happen to unsuspecting other people is a hoot. Little girls have the potential to be the creepiest things ever.

But trying to sleep with you when you are drunk is a true mark of friendship!

If increasingly weird and inappropriate therapy animals isn't a Portlandia skit already then it should be and soon. Therapy badgers anyone? Therapy Komodo dragons? Therapy eels?

That man, in addition to all the doxies, is now the proud owner of two dead badgers. Success!

Cast iron might be heavy as fuck, but it is the way to go!