I'm sorry, but that's actually incorrect. Languages don't get watered down to a dumber level, they change and evolve. It's not always in a way you'd prefer, but it's not up to you or me. If you read about the evolution of language, you'll see this. Proscriptivism isn't the way to go, it's classist and ultimately…

To be fair, Doctor Who would be higher BUT THERE'S NO NEW EPISODES UNTIL DECEMBER.

You can't see it in this picture, but this grape-purple prom contraption is NOT dress. One side of the top ruffled all the way down to the floor, and the pants were huuuuge flowy ruffly pants.

A) Yes I am. I'm actually one of the most qualified English teachers my age in the State.

Ok, WHAT is with the gold leaf on everything lately?

If I'm ordering a 1,000 dollar sundae one of the accoutrements had better be 995 crisp dollar bills.

Why is everything always about cannibalism with Christians?

Sixties' James Bond was a weakling compared to Daniel Craig's muscle-bound version of the spy.

I suddenly understand all those dudes always chiming in to reassure women that chubby ladies or little breasts or whatever also give them boners. Because my first reaction is to say, "But I like skinny guys!" I guess I prefer men to be sort of lean and noncut, which I didn't know I prefered. Because all these pictures…

Try it and I'll forcefeed you pig's feet.

I know. It's my blood sugar.

Xkcd had a perfect comic for the Cadbury creme eggs.

I can't wait to see your next unhinged rant over vague social pleasantries:

It's kind of funny that you're unaware this post is about customers like you, yet also sad that you'll probably continue to unknowingly inflict your bullshit on people.

I feel the exact same way.

Holy shit you are one of these customers.

Here's another common phrase for you: you're the worst.