Paradoxymoron
Paradoxymoron
4/30/19
6:35 PM
54

No, this is exactly the time to be self righteous about our votes. That’s what primary elections are about. After the nomination is the time to close ranks.

4/6/19
3:55 PM
145

Rapists hate him! Prevent sexual assault with this one weird trick!

4/2/19
7:40 PM
42

If you’re a politician, campaign events, fundraisers, and fact-finding missions are work events. Just because we sometimes have meetings in a café doesn’t suddenly make them social outings.

3/27/19
10:45 PM
11

Not really relevant, other than your picture: I was once in line in a grocery store behind a guy who bought one of those cans and a bunch of bananas. And nothing else. I said, “Oh, bananas Foster!” The guy and the clerk looked at me like I wasn’t the funniest asshole they’d ever encountered. 

3/25/19
7:44 PM
458

It doesn’t matter what size your labia is with this outfit. It matters whether you plan to move your legs more than one millimeter apart while wearing it. Because if your legs move, your labia move, and that bodysuit will end up cutting you in half in a way that is so painful that, you, being a man - can’t even Read more

3/19/19
10:09 PM
34

Yeah, I have a hard time believing someone that has six kids is gagging over the thought of bodily fluids. Small children are little walking biohazards, there’s no way she hasn’t been up to her elbows in god knows what on more than one occasion.

3/19/19
3:57 PM
176

I legitimately read that headline to mean that these moms were going to be starring in a porn that their children would then watch. While still horrifying, the truth is far, far less appalling. 

3/13/19
2:29 PM
3

You wrote, “If you like rock, you are old” and “name a relevant rock band younger than 40.” Not everyone in 5FDP is 40 or over, but more to the point: their fans are way under 40, and the bands I listed are as well. Furthermore, maybe they’re not relevant to you, or what you consider “nationally relevant,” but they’e r Read more

3/5/19
4:47 AM
316

Hey Lauren, I just want to chime in along with everyone else and let you know this is a really shitty post. Like, colossally shitty. I don’t even have any snark for you. Clinton won the popular vote, she was profoundly qualified, and she got shat on for being a woman who knows how to get shit done in a world dominated Read more

3/4/19
2:13 PM
23

Once had a full grown dude write notes on a notepad and then rip each one off and toss it crumpled into a ball behind him then landing in my lap for 5 hours. I started tossing them back. He was so fucking unaware that when I did it he was annoyed WITH ME

3/1/19
5:22 PM
22

The correct word when used to describe someone who wants to electrocute the brains of gay people is “evil,” Kinja User HighLikeAnEagle. 

2/22/19
10:03 AM
82

It’s Famine from Good omens - forget crop failure, you can sell people canned air to eat and they’ll buy it because it’s low-cal.

2/15/19
7:28 PM
84

In my youth, outside of the bar at closing time was called “the sidewalk sale” because men would literally just pick twinks off and bring them home. Read more

2/15/19
6:28 PM
71

I grew up in a suburb of a midsized city, and while there were PHARM parties going on at my highschool, I didn’t attend them. I went to college however, in a much, much smaller town. One that acted as a hub for the even less sparsely inhabited counties surrounding it. They had FARM parties and I had no idea what I was Read more

2/15/19
10:25 AM
66

When I was a teen in mid 2000's, E! recounted moments in pop culture and this was one of them, not surprisingly the focus was on the severed penis but not on the ramifications of the case, I am glad things are being somewhat more transparent and being able to see beyond the headlines, much like the Liebeck v. Read more

2/13/19
1:42 PM
53

It is never my intention to yuck anyone’s yum, but for me, sensuality has no place in the bedroom.