I know hippie women who think that.

I once had a boyfriend who thought periods were controlled by the moon.

I know, right? I hate when my boyfriend bleeds at unexpected intervals of intensity for days at a time and gets to feel punched in the stomach for most of it. He's just so whiny about being fatigued and bloated and all of his clothes fitting weird and getting stains on all of his favorite boxers and then I'll ask him…

Okay well... teach them about menstruation if you must. But don't you DARE tell them what goes on in the girls' bathroom. If they find out about the cotton candy machines, they will whine *SO* much....

I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don''t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again.…

See, this would make me wake up angry every day. What's the point in smelling delicious bacon when in all probability there is no bacon forthcoming?

So I had to look up if anyone had made an alarm clock that made bacon for you and this is what I found.

This seems unnecessarily cruel to me. Like when you realize the bacon was all just a dream.

I am literally hyperventilating with desire right now.

I'll take the bacon smell over the fried fish smell that courses through my apt building on a Saturday morning.

Yep.

But that's the dead body freezer! Dude, you do NOT put food in there.

I love how you put this pre-emptive comment, and everyone is literally responding to it with the comment you've already addressed.

Wait there is something about not putting guacamole on a burrito? Because that's incorrect.

I was not convinced about climate change until Chipotle threatened my gauc availability. Now I am a truuuueeee believer.

So before the inevitable flood of comment about how Chipotle is the McDonalds of Mexican food and the food has no flavor and everyone who professes to like it is a hopeless culinary plebeian, let me just say:

He explicitly says it "serves as a warning to others." That's the part I'm not okay with. If a woman said the same thing was the inspiration for her product, I'd not be okay with that either, but that it's a man saying it makes it even worse. It sounds like "haha gotta warn my bros about bitches who be bleedin'."

You know, a "NSFW" label doesn't work when it's one line of 12-point text above the thing it's referring to. You do know that, right?