WUT?

+1-UP

Or two

Let me first say that this is not snark. This is coming from me being a nine year old at the time. How was the Gulf War a shit show from your perspective?

Just put your head down and keep trying

Man, I legitimately can’t tell if you’re trying to be funny or stupid. I guess the answer is “yes”.

Where’s the suit, Ray? WHERE’S THE SUIT?

Hey Ted! Welcome to Deadspin! Enjoy your stay!

If you and the 2nd Amendment people would just hurry up and take care of the issue …

*wooooosh*

Bo Jackson: “I’d tell them, ‘Play baseball, basketball, soccer, golf, just anything but football.’”

Sadly, Dupree never did figure out how Polamalu got that Head & Shoulders gig …

Neat.

Punchs and kicking are a tired trope as well. It’s probably time to let those go as well.

Alright Captain Save-a-Hoe, keep getting offended by everything because, after all, no one else is capable but you, social justice, Internet warrior.

Your mistake was the same as 90% of the other people in this thread: you got offended over something that didn’t pertain to you and wasn’t worth getting offended over in the first place even if it didn’t. Lighten the fuck up.

Only -357 days away!

I can only hope that my death provides some decent comedic value.

That’s your browser’s spellcheck …

It’s not like you were calling to complain about how Taco Bell messed up your order; if someone could get seriously hurt because of their, or someone else’s actions, it’s always 911.