*wooooosh*

Bo Jackson: “I’d tell them, ‘Play baseball, basketball, soccer, golf, just anything but football.’”

Sadly, Dupree never did figure out how Polamalu got that Head & Shoulders gig …

Only -357 days away!

That’s your browser’s spellcheck …

It’s not like you were calling to complain about how Taco Bell messed up your order; if someone could get seriously hurt because of their, or someone else’s actions, it’s always 911. 

Here, have a star

I’m not crying, your face is crying …

The Internet ran out of space.

How the hell is it that you can smile in a mugshot but in certain states you have to look like a corpse on your drivers’ license?

Seriously, this guy could kick a football to the moon and all I’d remember is him curled up in the fetal position.

And it requires not only raw grip strength but also contact strength (i.e. quickly achieving the required grip strength).

Thank you, Internet warrior, for defending rich, old, white people, a group that clearly needs you to defend them.

How is it that someone who had the privilege of asking the last debate question of the night, of the next POTUS, but could only fart out a first grade teacher/couples therapy based “say something nice about the other candidate” is being heralded as a “winner”?

I’ll never forgive him for how poorly he handled those footballs.

Hey! I take offense to that!

FUCK YOU.

Here’s a pro-tip: anyone who personally identifies themselves as a “climber” is insufferable.

Who the hell let you out of the grays?

Does it even count as “ankle breaking” if he stepped on the other guys’ shoe? Second time I’ve seen this move translated to “ankle breaking.”