Paradise
Paradise
Paradise

How the hell is it that you can smile in a mugshot but in certain states you have to look like a corpse on your drivers’ license?

Seriously, this guy could kick a football to the moon and all I’d remember is him curled up in the fetal position.

And it requires not only raw grip strength but also contact strength (i.e. quickly achieving the required grip strength).

Thank you, Internet warrior, for defending rich, old, white people, a group that clearly needs you to defend them.

How is it that someone who had the privilege of asking the last debate question of the night, of the next POTUS, but could only fart out a first grade teacher/couples therapy based “say something nice about the other candidate” is being heralded as a “winner”?

I’ll never forgive him for how poorly he handled those footballs.

Hey! I take offense to that!

FUCK YOU.

Here’s a pro-tip: anyone who personally identifies themselves as a “climber” is insufferable.

Who the hell let you out of the grays?

Does it even count as “ankle breaking” if he stepped on the other guys’ shoe? Second time I’ve seen this move translated to “ankle breaking.”

I filled out a survey on SportsCenter five hours earlier and specifically called out Flores’ Twitter battle with Nick Young as the type of shit that has made it unwatchable. God forbid they showed sports highlights; ESPN is the MTV of sports nowadays. Anyhow, thanks for the prompt response ESPN.

At :30 seconds I was pretty sure I was watching a fat Peyton Manning throw a baseball but then at :52 he threw a perfect spiral. Now I can’t decide if I’m watching Peyton from the past or from the future.

This is terrible fucking Kinja.

This is good Kinja … you're with me.

This is so stupid …

Guilty until proven innocent, right?

This deserved more stars than 2.

Welcome to Deadspin ... now get out.