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You're about to end this relationship.

Ok, but "what about soccer" made me lol though. I'm seriously thinking of using this at the end of any argument or tense conversation I have in the future.

Now I'm imagining robot pickup lines.

He's getting a Jitterbug!

Clearly, you know fewer assholes than I do.

Garden State is the Catcher in the Rye of movies. Young men say they love it because they think it makes them look interesting or smart.

Ok, I think I get what you're saying, despite the hyperbole. Maybe this should be the takeaway of this article: when a man talks to a woman, he shouldn't make her attractiveness to him the entire topic of conversation. I have plenty of really great conversations with men. Exactly zero of those great conversations…

Has he ever admitted that what he did was completely wrong and that he should have faced the charges that were brought against him?

Go to court, plead his case, and submit to whatever justice decides.

CNN will be glad to hear that his life was not, in fact, ruined.

As a majority of birth control in this country is paid for by health insurance companies whose premiums are paid by the woman receiving said birth control (either directly or as compensation for her/her spouse's labor), I'm pretty sure that means most of this country wants you to STFU. The remainder wish they had…

I suspect the real problem is more that people may find someone they're compatible with, who shares their general goals and world view, and yet isn't perfect in every way and therefore is not THE ONE.

I can't believe people think they have souls let alone soul mates

It seems like people apply this type of thinking to a lot of aspects of their lives, too.

The reason I believe "soul mates" is bullshit? Because if there's just ONE person for you, what's to guarantee they're in your zip code? Your country? Your hemisphere? Your decade? Your century?

If my love isn't like a Harlequin Novel, I want no part of it.

In an unrelated study, a 2011 poll found that 73% of Americans "believe that they are destined to find their one, true, soul mate."

So people who view the world like adults are more likely to experience satisfying, long-term adult relationships? Fuckin' studies, man. They'll surprise you every time.

when a dude talks about how much he hates pit/pubic/leg hair on a woman it is like an enormous bat signal to my brain telling me i'm dealing with a little boy. like, you can like whatever you want but expecting women to conform to your burdensome standards is nonsense. it's one of those red flags, like not tipping. …